


Of Light and Shadow

by ckit3



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Betrayal, Death, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Injury, Love, M/M, Mafia AU, Mercenaries, Recovery, Romance, impliedtorture, littledomesticfluff, relationships, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:15:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9961826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckit3/pseuds/ckit3
Summary: A YOI mafia AU of a different sort, focusing mainly on more of the non main characters along with an OC or 2 .   A story involving an uncovered secret,Viktor Nikiforov's legendary jealousy and temper and the consequences of his anger.  Beginning 2 years after Viktor's husband had been rescued after being taken hostage, and following with the consequences of his actions.I am not so good at summaries and I did not like the last one I posted,so I changed it.  Notes have a bit of a spoiler if you are new to reading this story-call it a  teaser of sorts.





	1. Who we are now

**Author's Note:**

> Now that my other AU is finished I hope to get back into this au, I hope if you are still interested you can hold on for a little while longer. I need to look over my notes for this and throw myself back in. I am sorry for such a long delay but I am prone to doubts and insecurities, I fight the urge to rewrite so much but I completed one story.

They were still young. They had many years left before they would have to decide how to spend the rest of their lives. Youth remained on their side, as did their talent for what they did. Many in their line of work chose -or were more likely chosen-to join families in various roles,most likely as private bodyguards. In truth that choice had already been offered to them and left now as an open invitation for when they were ready. He considered the offer seriously back then,starting a more stable life with the respect and honor of joining such a powerful family. Very few ever refused. Fewer still had the option to make that decision in their own time. He knew that under different circumstances the choice would have been quite simple. If not for the events of 2 years past. The memories of the days before weighed heavy on him even after so much time. Some wounds never fully healed.

Leo was surprised to discover his next job offer gave him a partner he knew well,the same one he fought alongside 2 years ago when they were tasked with rescuing Yuuri Katsuki ,the legendary Russian boss' second in command. It had been their toughest job to date and they were highly rewarded once their task was completed,they and the others who were also on that mission. They and only a couple others returned. That was a tribute to their training and their commitment to their skills.

Now,as he sat in a dimly lit bar sometime around midnight listening to a "too talented for such a dive" jazz trio somewhere in the back recesses of Philadelphia his mind wandered back to that mission and what it cost him. Since he'd been a hired gun,he and the handful of others were used as a way for others to get inside,to find and rescue the man. Leo had gotten used to what his job generally entailed and he was quite capable at it. Capable enough to have survived up until now in a field that usually ended in an early death. He had met the one person who changed his life on an early mission,not all that long after Celestino had given him the okay to prove himself. Assisting in a deal with the major Chinese syndicate as they brought a shipment of drugs and guns into the states.

The man had been like himself,on his first important mission though he took his responsibilities in what Leo called a somewhat cavalier attitude. He found Guang Hong Ji very friendly,deceptively easygoing and someone he wanted to know better. The deal made they talked over drinks that night. It amazed him how the man could make light of his life ,the things he had seen and done and how easily Leo discovered he could laugh as well. He found ways to meet him often even if only on assignments they might share or through conversations over secured cell lines. He looked forward to becoming permanent in China in some way,either working for the same organization in some way or whatever he could work out. Guang Hong was helping him.

The female singer's song was sad now,the music maudlin as he remembered how the events of 2 years ago altered his hopes and dreams. Guang Hong wasn't supposed to be there,Leo didn't even know he was in the area. If not for that Leo knew he would be dead. He survived at a cost he wasn't prepared to face. There were times in life when one moment,one decision,one simple little circumstance could change everything. For good or for bad there would be no going back to the life you knew. There would only be the unknown path ahead.

If he was ever going to choose a place to wander aimlessly in the shadows of his past,this would be a perfect spot. A bar where no one seemed interested in whether or not anyone else existed here. People came here to be alone with their thoughts.

Perfect. The bartender himself only cared what you wanted to drink and that he was paid. Leo hadn't been a drinker before.

He had come here as Celestino instructed,to wait for his partner in his current assignment. Recognizing this place from somewhere in his mind he arrived early. He hadn't realized just how deep into his thoughts he was until the voice next to him started him into awareness.

"I like the singer's voice but you can do better than the piano guy..."

Kira. She was there sitting on the bar stool next to him,wearing casual clothing-a dark red hoodie and jeans. In all the time he'd known her she rarely dressed up, only if the assignment called for it or like the last time she actually wore a dress-back in Russia before circumstance forced them to leave. The party Viktor hosted to celebrate Yuuri's return,held a few weeks after they brought him back. When Yuuri felt stable enough to face anyone besides Viktor or his friends. The one he had been forced by obligation to attend. He had not felt like celebrating . 

"You're late."he finished his drink,setting the glass down with a sigh.

"Last minute preparations." she explained,her blue eyes regarding him with concern. "We have to go,the driver's waiting."

"Why are you doing this?" still,even at this moment Leo couldn't understand why she was taking such a risk. He got up from his seat. No one seemed to care enough to notice her arrival or the fact that she was now urging him toward the door. Outside the music gave way to the sounds of cars and people. 

Kira shrugged,following him out onto the street where their cab waited. "It's Celestino's fault for actually caring about his workers. He knows you can do better than all of this. Why would he want someone who is not dedicated to their work?"

"But you.."

"If anything I am real good at disappearing, and we were promised complete protection."she reminded him as she opened the back door of their cab. "Your concern should be for yourself and for him,I can handle my own part."

He had every right to be worried, he knew the plans and how meticulously they had been prepared but still things could go wrong. The entire plan was a risk. Kira got her small frame into the backseat first.

"Besides it's not you they'll be going after if everything falls apart." She grumbled,taking her phone and plugging in her earbuds.


	2. Who we were--Leo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo reflects on past events that brought him to this moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight edit to fix a mistake

When someone dared to take his most prized and treasured possession what did they expect to happen? Viktor Nikiforov had a temper he rarely exposed to anyone,but it was legendary in its ferocity. Rumors did not do it justice. When they had taken Yuuri,his husband,his love and the second in control of the vast Russian Mafia the hell he wished to unleash would also be legendary. The best out of his people along with mercs like Leo and Kira were sent into battle to the place all informants assured them that Yuuri was being held. Nothing would stand in his way,their instructions were made very clear at the start-hold nothing back,do whatever is needed to get Yuuri back. None of their lives mattered as much and they all knew that and accepted it. This was how they lived,what they lived for. Ever since her first mission,when she first felt the rush of the hunt,the fight to survive at all costs Kira had been hooked. Celestino always called her a natural,a born survivor. It was why he started training her as a child.

Leo was also a survivor but he was never the same as her or the others. He took little joy in the fight or killing. He was good at it but he did not want to be. Maybe that was why he felt such a bond with Guang Hong, both of them had been thrown into this life. The ride to wherever they were being taken too seemed extremely long giving Leo time to think. He had not been present when they found Yuuri Katsuki but Kira was there,chosen by Yuri Plisetsky to join the team invading the building. The Japanese man was in bad shape when they found him,bloodied,broken and bruised and in response the Russian Tiger let out his anger on the one in charge of the kidnappers. The younger Russian was far less controlled than Viktor, and what was done to the man they called King JJ left Kira glad he hadn't survived. Yuri seemed to enjoy himself,cursing angrily in Russian as he exacted immediate revenge. Once satisfied he turned his attention on the others,the ones who were said to have participated in the torture,it took forcing him to talk to someone on a phone handed to him before he would calm. 

Viktor would not be pleased about that but their success overshadowed the death of that man and those who made the bad decision to follow him. It bothered him how she could talk about it without emotion,as if recounting a somewhat interesting movie she remembered watching. 

Leo doubted anyone would ever try such a thing ever again. 

In the end he was left cradling the broken body of the man he'd come to love as he bled form the gunshot wound that saved Leo's life. Somehow he had been there at the right moment,coming between Leo and the shot meant to kill him. At least he held enough presence of mind to shoot the man before he could get away. It wasn't only Guang Hong's blood that covered him then. He knew he shouldn't move him,that he'd been shot in the back and it would be precious time until they could get him the help he needed. But he could not leave him alone to face whatever happened. He would never be able to forget the metallic smell,the warmth of blood,the struggles the man in his arms made to breathe and the way he seemed to be growing paler and colder as he waited. It made him nearly senseless in his wish to stop the pain and suffering his love felt. 

The days and weeks after were torturous,as he stayed by his bedside while they watched and waited. He had little knowledge of what transpired around him,his focus on Guang Hong Ji as he lay there hooked up to monitors,tubes and machines-the only movement coming from the machine that made him breathe,his chest rising and falling slowly. Before his family arrived his only company came from the nurses who seemed to always be present or friends who came by. Sometimes he wished that he could be alone there with him,to speak and hope he could hear. It hurt him more than he felt able to bear seeing him like this,all he had was hope now. Leo talked about wanting to play the piano again,about the life he wanted after all of this. 

When he could breathe on his own,when most of the machines were gone his family made the decision to take him back with them. It would happen as soon as the doctors felt it safe to allow it. His family had been the ones to talk to him first,Leo understood that but hurt and guilt remained within him. In China they would get him the best of care and therapy,hoping that he would be able to walk again. But they made it clear there was no need for him there,his family would keep him safe now,to them he was someone who would only bring danger. He would live a quiet,safe life from now on. When the time came Leo went to his private room in the hospital for what he felt would be the last time they could talk in person. 

Still he was greeted with a smile upon entering the room,Guang Hong Ji sat up in the bed now pillows behind him for extra support. Leo was amazed that Guang Hong could remain smiling and upbeat even now.

"I was hoping you'd make it to see me today."he held out his arms. "Did they tell you the news Leo?"

He hugged the younger man carefully,that familiar warmth flooding his body. Pulling away he nodded. "They're discharging you tomorrow. "

The Chinese man's smile widened. "I'm going back to Hong Kong,more therapy,more doctors,more treatments and maybe surgeries....but at least I'll be home. "he was happy,and Leo felt a sudden rush of dread. "You're coming back with me."

Mierda! That and several other curses,English and Spanish, went unspoken as his head fell and he hugged tighter. 

His family had obviously not told him everything. Anger and pain rose inside him. His parents always had ties with the organization, it was how Guang Hong came into it himself. They had connections,he knew they could find him the best doctors. If there was a way that he could walk again they had the means to find it. 

"Are you okay,Leo?" 

He forced himself to stand, facing the younger man's confused expression. There was nothing he could do,the pain was already forcing its way into him. "Ji,...." he hesitated, cursing himself again. He was only delaying,desperate to spend even just a little more time. "I'm sorry.."

"Why would you be sorry? We can get out of all this soon,my family can get you out of all your obligations."

Leo had no idea what to say or what to do. In the end all he could find the courage to do was lean in and kiss Ji softly on the lips,mutter a quick "I'm sorry,Ji. You'll be happy,I'm sure of it." before hurrying out of the room.

It wasn't that they never talked again but Leo kept his distance,careful not to reveal what he chose to keep concealed. They remained friends. He forced himself to believe it was better than nothing, better to have some of what he wanted than to have nothing at all. 

 

Here in the back of this taxi cab,travelling to wherever they were going in the depths of night Leo felt hope for the first time in all these months. Sometimes you had to take a risk ,sometimes the possible outcome was more than worth that risk.


	3. Hope and Uncertainty

Sitting in the cab,staring out the window at whatever they passed on the highway,Kira was listening to music on her phone,earbuds in place to keep everything else out. When Celestino approached her about this mission her first thought had been to reject even the thought of it. What happened 2 years ago was filed deep inside her mind with all the other secrets she held,everything learned by chance on her many assignments. Things happened,their clients understood and they trusted their secrets would never be revealed. Without that trust they would be out of a job. They would also be in serious danger of ticking off one if not all of the organizations they dealt with. There were people who dealt in information, Kira was not one of them. 

Beside her Leo was lost in his own thoughts. 

She met Phichit Chulanont when he arrived at the hospital along with Viktor Nikiforov not long after they brought Yuuri there. It made sense the man would be there,Phichit was Yuuri's closest friend. Their bond went beyond his duties to the pakhan. She heard stories of the man often called "The Thai Prince" and how he came with Yuuri when he was welcomed into the family. He was not exactly as she thought he would be. The man held a disarming charm and easygoing attitude,making it difficult not to be taken off guard. They spent many long hours in the hospital talking,at first about Yuuri and Guang Hong Ji ,then about other things. He was very easy to talk to,there were times she had to remember to be more careful and not to be quite so open. 

It was how things began,the days and weeks that seemed to pass like dreams. In those days,those moments there was hope. She couldn't stop herself from wondering even now,or maybe especially now. It had only been when Celestino informed her that someone else requested her help in dealing with the same situation that she relented-but only to the first plan. This put her at more risk,considering the fact that she would be the one to be blamed if everything went wrong. In truth she was going against powerful individuals and in a worst case scenario even those that promised her protection could easily back out if cornered. There were no guarantees ,which was normal in her given line of work. 

Kira would never be who she was back then, it proved far more difficult now to shut everyone else out of her mind and her heart. Not that she would not do what had to be done ,now she felt something in the aftermath. She could become cold and distant but it did not last . 

The cab stopped outside what appeared to be an expensive hotel,an attendant opened the door. With all the appearance of two who were guests returning from a night out they left the cab,Leo giving the attendant a bill of some unknown amount. She simply smiled and thanked the man. He took her arm,drawing her close enough to hear his low voice.

"You have one hour."

He let her go,she nodded and together with Leo headed through the ornate lobby to the elevators. 

"What did he tell you?" once again Leo was concerned,feeling he only knew part of the plan. She was hiding something from him. 

"Don't worry about it. " she assured him," You know the room number? "

"I do , but..."he wasn't sure he wanted to ask or if he wanted to know. What deal had been made to make this happen? 

Kira regarded the elevators,heading toward the one she had been told to take. They were alone in the elevator,she pressed 2 different floor numbers. As it moved Leo was glad it was quiet,waiting until it stopped. 

Leo stayed in the elevator door,not allowing it to shut right away. " You sure about all of this?"

She gave him her best smile. "It took a lot of effort for them,don't waste any of it Leo." a hint of sadness in her voice now.

He stepped out and the door shut,trying to push away his own doubts as he found his way to the room he sought. The door was marked as one specially furnished for a handicapped guest. A familiar pain went through his heart,he wondered if that would ever fade. Through all of it Ji's optimism never seemed to waver, he was the one to cheer Leo up when they talked. He had no idea how exactly they managed to persuade his family to at least give him a chance. In their eyes it was Leo and the life he led that injured their son. In their minds they believed they could have kept him safe. Besides the fact that the Chinese organizations always held more than a little contempt for their American counterparts. 

He hesitated at the door latch,opening it there would be no going back. What he wanted was there inside the room and that gave him courage. Finding it unlocked he stepped inside.

Guang Hong Ji was sitting there in the center of his room smiling,his eyes bright with joy. " Leo!"

Returning the smile he rushed to him,hugging him so much it nearly brought Ji out of his chair. "It's been far too long." Leo took Ji's face in his hands and kissed him. 

He couldn't let him go now,not now or ever. 

"When they said you would be here I thought it was a joke,...and it's late..."Guang Hong said,his tone uncertain." I thought you might be more comfortable if we were friends..."

Leo bent down to his level,feeling happier than he ever had been. " Friends-that's part of what I want."

The Chinese man who always looked younger than he was, wasn't following Leo's thoughts. Knowing that amused Leo. He got up,moved to behind the chair. "Do you mind losing a lot of sleep?"

"We have a flight in the morning..."

Leo nodded,they did have a flight to catch in the morning,sometime around 10 he thought. 

" I thought we might spend a little time becoming reacquainted....if you want." 

He moved the chair toward the large bed. They could sleep on the plane,once they were safely on their way home. As suggested to him he did not wish to waste anymore time.


	4. Consequences of past actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did decide to make this less violent that I first wanted it to be,the ending certainly not as bad. My fanfiction skills are not that good but I hope that I am improving. I am trying. Maybe I will revisit one day and level up the angst-I was having a couple bad days when I thought about this. I wrote it to get it out of my mind. I am working on one last chapter as well,not sure when that will be done.  
> Thinking about this story I could also continue if I want to,I did give myself other options it seems.

"I doubted you'd accept the invitation." those dark grey eyes regarding her reflection in the glass of the window he faced looking out at the city as she stood just inside the door to his suite. He seemed relieved. 

"I almost decided to leave you here once I figured what was going on." she glanced around the room absently, it wasn't the most expensive of suites but certainly not the cheapest. It suited him. On the subject of suits,the one he was wearing looked quite good on him. She always liked seeing him like this,the professional side of Phichit had an interesting effect on her. Mainly because she knew his other side as well and bringing it out had always been fun. 

"But you didn't." sounding so very confident

"Perhaps I should have,this is dangerous." she spoke the truth,this meeting was hardly by chance. 

"True,but life would be boring without some risk? " he asked her with one of those smiles. He could be so very charming when he wanted to,putting people at ease. He used that to his advantage,it was one way he got what he wanted out of others. 

In the beginning it had been so easy. 

He was as handsome as she remembered,still with that almost boyish charm. He liked to use that charm to find information Yuuri needed or Viktor asked for. Phichit had become an invaluable asset to both leaders of the Russian Mafia,Yakov Feltsman's extended family. Since their meeting in Detroit years ago Phichit also became Yuuri's closest friend. His closest friend,he had Yuuri's ear-his respect as well as Viktor's. 

If things had happened differently 2 years ago everything would no doubt play out differently now. It was the choices one made that determined the path they took and where it would take them. If Leo had not been saved by Guang Hong Ji outside the building where Yuuri was held,if he had not nearly died and Leo in turn saved him they would not be together now. Leo would never have been given the chance to find the happiness he wanted and deserved. The chance at another life beyond all this violence and death. Kira felt happy for him. These days it was rare to discover a heart like his. One day she hoped to see him again. But that day was far off. 

She came here to face her own past. Her path set long ago when Celestino found her, a child ignored by her family who had other things to occupy their attention. Her mother had her job and her boyfriends,her grandmother was old and her mind starting to wander. Sometimes she thought Kira was her daughter. In those days she had become an excellent thief,helped by the fact that she looked much younger than she truly was and she had such an innocent air about her. She learned to be quiet,to watch and learn and remember. People found her shyness charming. There was a time she thought she might have her own chance at another life,perhaps the illusive bond like Viktor and Yuuri held. Many times her trust in others had been betrayed and every time she strengthened her resolve and the walls protecting her from harm. 

She wanted to believe,but in the end she always ended up alone. She became accustomed to this life,to changing herself over and over after each mission. She traveled all over the world,especially now that after her participation in rescuing Yuuri Katsuki Nikiforov she gained a lot of respect and status among her peers. After this her respect should only increase. Viktor promised more work with his clan,thinking that one day she could become one of them. One day,once all of this mess was cleared and all trace of this night was erased,never to be spoken of again. 

It was easy to be there standing behind the chair he sat on,easy to massage his shoulders ,her hands working wonders on him. He always enjoyed these moments and Kira had not forgotten. He trusted her, just as he trusted his secrets would never be discovered. 

"Viktor knows everything......" she whispered the words into his ear like a lover.

Of course he would find out eventually,there were people who sought to protect their boss and information could be found if you wanted to find it. Whether the one who told him wished to gain more favor in Viktor's eyes did not matter. An angry,jealous Viktor was something no one ever wanted to face. It was he that designed all of this. It was Viktor that agreed to have Leo and Guang Hong Ji meet again if she agreed to this . To this mission. Kira wanted to get Leo out of this life,he deserved better and in turn they vowed to help her. He could protect Guang Hong and care for him. 

Viktor did not like rivals. He would do anything to protect and keep Yuuri at his side. 

Phichit should have known this. If it had ended back then,after he found himself in that situation with a very drunk Yuuri things may have turned out differently. She only knew about that first time,it was a secret she shared with Leo. They had been looking for Yuuri during the party Viktor held for his love's return. Finding them together caused a lot of problems. The reason they left Russia 2 years ago. But it was not only that one time. Viktor knew that knowledge would give her a reason to do what he wanted. He was smart and cunning, and she did not mind being used as a weapon to put things right in Viktor's mind. She did not care what he would tell Yuuri about his best friend,his advisor and sometimes lover. That was not her concern. 

There was a time she cared for him,a time she considered staying in Russia and becoming his bodyguard. Phichit asked that of her. She almost gave her heart to him. Her suspicious nature served her well. Clearing her mind of all other thought and concerns she focused on the task Viktor had given her. Dark eyes widened in surprise,certainly he understood now that he had been trapped. 

Viktor knew everything.

So did she. 

Phichit should be grateful that it was not Viktor who first contacted Celestino. 

She had to act fast, taking out the pressure activated syringe and pushing it against his neck. It was supposed to act quickly,so she had been told. She didn't want to have to fight him. 

"Why?" his voice was weak but she understood

"Just be glad Yuuri found out about what Viktor planned before he got to Celestino,..you'd be headed to Russia for a very bad vacation." she told him,putting away the needle and finding her phone. "Don't know where they are taking you."

It wasn't long before he couldn't talk anymore,checking his pulse she took her phone,once more sending out an image and then a quick message. Not to the same recipient. Her part was finished. If all went well Viktor would assume his men had him and Yuuri could deal with his husband. 

Now she had to hurry,leaving the room and heading for the stairwell. She could not be there when the men arrived to take Phichit away. Run a few floors to the emergency exit and the alarm had been disabled as she was told it would be. The car was also right there waiting. Once she was inside it left the parking lot at a normal speed,no use in gathering any attention. They had a little time before the result of her actions was discovered. Everything had been prepared,down to the last detail, as she expected when dealing with Viktor Nikiforov,the Russian Pakahn was legendary. Yuuri better be able to diffuse his anger and his friend better stay away from whatever Yuuri was to him for a long time. What they did caused a lot of trouble.

The nondescript car would take her to a run down motel where they asked no questions and they rented by the hour,a room ready in another name that her driver signed for. The hotel room she left would be cleaned as well,leaving no sign of what had occurred if all went well. But that was their problem,the ones sent to clean up and retrieve their captive. 

\--Shower,change clothes and look over her new i.d. and take everything with her for someone else to take care of-her clothes,the needle...all of it. When she got to the airport reservations were also ready for her there. There would be a suitcase in the trunk for her,along with her passport and money(some of what they owed her). The routine was familiar. She had no idea where she was going this time. She rarely ever did. But it didn't matter, Viktor was a man of his word and like her- he did not participate in love triangles. 

Viktor had not been the only one betrayed. But Yuuri was more levelheaded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did tone down the violence in this story and it was my intention to stop at the next chapter but right now I am considering what I could do next. I am still unsure about continuing but I can't stop the ideas I have gotten lately. I also hope my writing gets better. I'm not used to fanfictions but YOI gives me so many ideas!
> 
> If I do continue the story will still be told mainly from the lesser used characters -most au's like this focus on victuuri but all of this has been my idea to see how their decisions effect others. I would like to bring in more characters like Seung gil Lee,Chris,and maybe others.
> 
> If I go on the next parts will include betrayals,another rescue,poor Phichit- he's only going to be "tied up" for awhile,how far can a dispute between lovers go when they are not willing to just talk, and probably a little insanity. I want to have some fun as well.


	5. The Best  Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late,very late--I know that and I am sorry. I am still uncertain about this and considered not continuing but here I am throwing it out there again. I hope whoever finds and is reading this finds it good so far.  
> I do have plans for this story -so many focus on Victor and Yuuri, but they are in the background here. Next I hope to bring in Yuri P.,along with Otabek and maybe Seung Gil. Also with less of my O.C if I go along with what I have planned for the next chapter. Hopefully within a week I can have the next chapter up,I've been working on my other project(the novel I spent months outlining)....but I felt drawn back to this story now.

She spent that night in a seedy motel ,it was not exactly a place where one slept but she had time to clean up,change clothes and look through the suitcase given to her. In zippered compartments were her documents,the new id's,passport,travel visa,and plane tickets. A taxi came for her right on time the next morning and here she was at the airport once again. This was how her life generally went, from airport to airport between whatever job Celestino found for her. At least she could refuse something she did not like now, once it was clear for her to continue. 

It had been remarkably easy to get through security at the airport,the suitcase she was given could fit into the overhead so she did not have to check it in. Inside she found clothes and little else. Along with her i.d. and passport she had been given a pre- paid card with a considerable amount of funds,using it to buy water,snacks and essentials. Kira hadn't heard anything from Celestino,but she knew he would not contact her so soon unless there was an issue to be dealt with. He did sometimes send her something as an assurance of a job completed. Silence was unusual but nothing too out of the ordinary. It was a matter of making Viktor believe that Phichit had been kidnapped and was being taken somewhere for him to be dealt with. She doubted Viktor would have ordered him killed but it was Yuuri that didn't want to take that chance. 

The destination on her ticket had taken her by surprise. The meaning didn't truly sink in until she heard familiar voices approach the gate's waiting area. A tanned young man was talking happily with the Chinese man in the wheelchair he was pushing. Immediately she returned her attention to her phone though she was not listening to the music it was playing. They would be safe, she had been assured of that and she tended to trust Yuuri over his husband. She didn't want to give them unnecessary attention,though the flight was early in the morning. Kira still scanned the others as they assembled at the gate,watching them just in case. A reflexive action more than anything,she felt certain Leo was doing the same. He had seen her there,his training would be put to good use in his future. They had made enemies in their work. 

Most people here seemed to be businessmen and women,on phones or using laptops or both as they waited for the plane to begin boarding. Take-off time was nearing,they were running late as usual but not too late and only a scattering of passengers seemed anxious about the delay. When they arrived at their destination she decided she would contact Leo, after all from what the documents told her they would be living in the same apartment building in Hong Kong. They would need to help each other out. Kira had already assumed she would be indebted to Guang Hong's family at least for awhile. They were supporting her after all. Hopefully Viktor and Yuuri would work things out sometime soon, though she doubted the bounty would ever be lifted off of Phichit's head. If he wasn't stupid he could survive. She had no idea where they were taking him and it did not matter.

That part was over. She became good at starting over,at immersing herself in a new life in a new location-it was normal now. Staying in one place too long was beyond imagining . 

The announcement was made that they were beginning to board the plane. Disconnecting her earbuds she stowed both them and her phone in her jacket pocket. It was nice to watch Leo and Guang Hong Ji boarding first after sharing a light kiss,they really did seem very happy. She vowed to do all she could to be certain they were protected. There had to be some happiness in this world,a place beyond the Organizations,Families and gangs that ruled nearly everything these days. 

When her turn came she walked along with the others boarding through the tunnel and onto the plane. She gave a brief smile to Leo and Guang Hong as she passed through first class where they were seated. Her bag safely stowed in the overhead she sat in her seat by the window,bracing herself for the take off that always made her nervous. Nothing else about flying bothered her just the take off. Beside her in the aisle seat a man was settling himself in,smiling at her. Before he could start a conversation she took out her phone ,connected the earbuds again and placed them in her ears to avoid what she was certain he was going to do. She wanted to think,to relax during the long flight. He seemed nice enough and she felt no threat but she was tired in mind and body right now. 

After the plane was safely in the air,as Kira gazed out at the night and the city below them and she was beginning to relax -it was then that she heard her phone announce a message. 

It must be Celestino,he was the only one who used this private,secure number. A number and phone he gave her just for this purpose. She switched to the main phone to check her messages,opening the newest one he'd sent expecting news about her last job. He usually contacted her when everything was done and completed, so it was easy to assume they'd gotten the troublesome Thai man into whatever protection Yuuri and his supporters had located. 

That was unfortunately not the case.

Staring at her phone it took several moments to let the words of his message sink in. She couldn't keep herself from allowing several swear words from leaving her mouth,ignoring the man next to hers concerned expression. 

\----They were betrayed. Lost all team members and the package. Currently locating package.--Celestino had sent.

She made herself calm,it didn't mean she was in danger. Her safety had been assured,that she felt sure of. 

\--Continue to destination. Plans are in progress to relocate and attain package as soon as possible. ---the next message advised her.

They wouldn't just kill Phichit,they needed him alive for the bounty. But he might be in for a rough time,especially if he was not found soon-before they got him to Russia. A small part of her felt sorry for him. The part she tried numerous times to shove to the furthest parts of her mind and heart but failed every single time. 

The plane was not going fast enough. The journey to Hong Kong was going to be too long. 

Settling back into her seat,returning to her music she willed her concerns away. She couldn't shake the feeling that everything she planned was torn to pieces. She would do her best not to let Leo know what happened and be even more careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a few thoughts on what is coming in the next 2 or 3 chapters-at least what my plans are so far  
> \---Rescuing Phichit, helped by surprising(or not) ally(ies)  
> \---a bit of domestic fluff with Leo and Guang Hong  
> \---Yuri P. expressing his feelings on everything ,most likely to Viktor  
> \---a bit more backstory regarding the incident that caused the current situation


	6. Lingering Regret

In the beginning it had been easy to blame Viktor. He was,after all,the most important,most powerful,most dangerous man in all of Russia. With the passing of Yakov Feltsman, leadership of the family went to Viktor - a complex man who could charm one with dignity,respect and all the fine things in life that he so adored but could easily order someone's death as if ordering what the dinner menu would be that night. When Viktor was sent to Japan to meet with the Katsuki clan on some important matter or other he met their son Yuuri. That Japanese man proved valuable in many ways,he alone could calm the Russian when he was in one of his moods. It was Viktor who helped Yuuri find confidence and rise to meet the challenges he faced as Viktor's second. His most trusted right hand. 

The man liked to drink. Viktor had been drinking quite a bit on that night,when the party he ordered to celebrate the return of his husband from those that had dared kidnap him was in full motion. The Russian Pakhan reveled in his own world,enjoying the attention lavished on him and in turn he was ignoring what he held most dear. Knowing all that Yuuri had been through,how much physical and mental damage he sustained Viktor should never let Yuuri out of his sight. That was a carelessness Phichit could not forgive. He had never been one to drink, if he did it was never to such an excess that he would lose control. Parties like this were great opportunities to gain information, he usually enjoyed making his way among the guests charming his way in conversations deceptively casual. He hadn't attended the party alone but both of them understood they had roles to play. Such opportunities could not go wasted. 

At the moment Phichit's attention was not on the party, or all the finely dressed guests talking,sipping the most expensive of champagne from equally expensive flutes or the music played by a hired quartet--he was angry. His anger was focused on a man he could never hope to stand against. Even before he was asked Phichit noticed the absence of his friend ,an absence the one man who should be concerned was oblivious. He left the Grand Hall certain his companion would understand. Yuuri was his closest friend,having met in Detroit as roommates in college back in Detroit. Back in the days before Viktor. They became close in those days,Phichit learning of Yuuri's anxiety attacks and helping him through it. What happened back then seemed only a natural progression of their friendship. Those days remained treasured memories. 

Thinking back on that party,on what happened,Phichit often wondered if he had asked her to go with him would things have turned out differently? Perhaps everything would never be so torn apart. He had been the one to start their relationship,having met her after Yuuri's rescue. Being with Kira had been easy, their conversations natural-thinking back everything seemed easy and natural with her. Considering all the lovers he had since Detroit he felt the happiest with her. Yuuri had been happy for him back then. 

Phichit found Yuuri in a guest bathroom quite far from the party,a place few would wander to. His friend was a mess then,sobbing and shouting how he wasn't worthy of Viktor,that he was a coward and a failure and why would anyone want to love him now. Not after what happened. He felt useless. Yuuri told him he was going back to Japan,back to his family if they would have him back. He was breaking more and more, seeming beyond hope of repair at least in his own eyes. Unable to stand it Phichit held him as he had many times before in Detroit reassuring his friend that he was far more than he believed,that he was respected and loved more than he knew by more people than he realized. In Phichit's mind anyone who caused Yuuri so much pain deserved their fate, if it was within his control no one would ever harm Yuuri again. He would do anything to protect him. He would never be harmed again. 

If Viktor could not see the truth then he deserved to be punished. His thoughts clouded as Yuuri's mouth sought his own and Phichit accepted what was offered. It was a fire that burned through him quickly destroying all sense of reason as familiar pleasure coursed within his body. His body remembered and it was easy to push away the thoughts screaming at him that this was beyond wrong. That he would regret allowing this to happen. He wanted to believe the lies he told himself in this moment. It wasn't only the unusual amount of drinks in his system,not only his anger at Viktor's careless attitude or his desire to have a moment of his past once more-the combination of all things made him leave his sense behind. The kiss deepened and for a moment he wanted what he had given up long ago in the hope that Yuuri would be happy.

In those days when he spent hours talking to his friend after he met Viktor Phichit realized what he felt was not being returned in kind. To Yuuri he was a friend,his closest friend and maybe a little more but never reaching what he wanted. He left Thailand ,his home country, the place he retreated to after college,after Yuuri went home to Japan , so he could be with his friend once the engagement had been announced. He could be useful if he stayed in Russia by his friend's side. 

He was undoing Yuuri's suit jacket and then the shirt beneath ,his hands moving as if by their own will. Somewhere in his brain he knew Yuuri was drunk,that he would most likely never remember the madness taking place in this restroom. Somehow,he really wasn't sure how or when it happened,but Yuuri was sitting by the sink and he was standing there still feverishly kissing, both of them exploring the others chest. At least he was aware enough not to leave marks. That would delay the inevitable for awhile. Maybe it was the foolishly ignorant thought that Yuuri would not remember that drove him on, something that would haunt his nights for a long time after. 

They were too caught up in passion, too unaware of anything other than this moment they did not hear voices in the hallway outside. Looking back he should have known others would be sent out to find Yuuri at least. Phichit knew how absolutely fortunate he had been that it was not Viktor who opened that door he'd forgotten to lock. 

Then again.maybe he would have done better if it had been Viktor. It would have ended there and then. The man standing there first had been Leo de Iglesias,Kira's friend. In the following rush to pull away from the situation and do his best to fix his clothing she was also there. In the moment their eyes met Phichit first saw pain,then a cold anger replaced it with trained speed. That cold stare would haunt his dreams. Everything after had been a blur in his memory. Kira ran to get someone they could trust for help,leaving Leo to get them in order before another man's cold gaze descended on the scene. 

Phichit had not recognized the man at that time,never having been introduced to the younger Russian's companion. Kira was a good judge of who they could trust,having probably saved his life that night by choosing him to trust. He would not see her again until the events that caused him to be in his current situation. 

At the moment he was lying on an old and smelly cot in a dark,windowless room somewhere. Since he spent a lot of time floating in and out of consciousness ,with no idea how much time had passed he thought he must be being drugged. Vague memories of being led to a car,of being attacked by a mass of people and being taken away again passed through his mind. This was not where he was meant to be taken. Whatever the plan had been something went wrong and now he was here,alone in a room held by armed men who spoke a language he did not understand. If Viktor had discovered the truth and Yuuri could not calm him,Phichit knew he was in a lot of danger. But at the moment he could do nothing that might help him survive,if survival was at all possible. He felt too weak,too confused and sore. 

He deserved this. Whatever fate held for him,he deserved all of it. 

The past could never be changed, that was something he should have known even before what happened in that restroom. Much had been lost as he reached for the impossible. He had known in his heart that Yuuri would never be more than a dear friend, it was all he could give and Phichit should have been grateful for that alone. He'd also lost another chance at happiness in his naive actions. His confused mind told him Yuuri had tried to save him from Viktor's rage, and for reasons he could not fathom Kira helped. Though they had not succeeded he was glad they tried. 

Lying there on the cot,staring into the darkness he heard the voices outside in words he did not understand deciding his fate. Whatever came of this he deserved it. In his mind there was no one else to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some info if anyone wants to know-as far as ages go I put them at Yuri P. would be the youngest at about 19 or 20,I lean toward 20 --to Viktor who in this story in his mid to late 20's. I leave specific ages up to the reader if it matters. 
> 
> I am working on a more cheerful and happy chapter next with the promised LeoJi fluff. I've come to like this ship.   
> After that we have to get Phichit out of his situation.


	7. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff for Leo and Ji. Sorry it is a short chapter but I hope you enjoy a peek into their lives.  
> I guess you can call it a bit of happiness before the story continues. I really needed the fluff after planning out the next couple chapters. I am already almost finished with the chapter after the next chapter--I really wanted to work hard on that one and I hope my effort shows. I actually have a list of things I want to include in this story.  
> Now I have to work on the next chapter which I will get out as soon as I can-hopefully in the next week.  
> Sorry for no previews, any first looks at the next chapters would be spoilers.

It was just one of possibly a thousand others in this massive city,a box some would say stacked among the others. Theirs being closer to the top meant a slightly bigger,somewhat better box then the ones below but still less than the boxes above them. The city itself was a confusing mass of people and noise. Here,nestled in their own box, was a haven they had shared for nearly 6 months now. From the outside one would struggle to even locate it among all the others, but inside this place was quite unique. It was home. The first real home Leo could call his own. He wasn't alone here though. 

He shared this wondrous oasis with the reason he found himself here. 

Guang Hong Ji proved to be a continual source of joy and surprise, possessing a seemingly endless supply of both. Once he had been working for the same clan his parents did,though they never approved of the actual work he did. They wanted him to take a less risky position,perhaps study medicine and join them. The man had been hopelessly enamored of what he thought life would be taking on dangerous missions ,training in firearms and combat techniques. This was how they met. 

It was also why he nearly lost everything that truly mattered to him not long after he'd discovered such things existed. Leo de Iglesias had always felt things would work out in the end, if you worked hard enough,if you had faith. His belief had been tested that night. To his surprise Ji was the strong one. What some would have called a tragedy did not stop him in the least. Leo learned it was best to keep a watchful eye, looking for signs that Ji might want or need help. Mostly he liked doing everything he could on his own,depending little on others. Though sometimes there were days he gave in to being waited on by his lover. 

Bed was extraordinarily comfortable and warm this morning,making him feel just as comfortable. Turning on his side he faced the back of his bed-mate, still sleeping,chest rising and falling with slow,deep breaths. Leo enjoyed these moments. The quiet and reassuring calm created by simply relaxing and allowing time to pass unnoticed. For now only they and this moment existed. He reached out to lightly touch the scar on the younger man's back, then follow the line of his spine eliciting a low sigh from him. Smiling, Leo could not resist hugging him from behind,drawing the sleeping man closer. 

It wasn't too long before Ji stirred, " 'Morning" sounding lazy and not quite awake

'Morning" Leo had already begun to kiss his lover's shoulder and was moving up to his neck.

This attention produced a light laugh. "If you're not careful we might not make it out of bed."

"Would that be so bad?" in fact it sounded like a very good idea. He wasn't aware that they had any appointments or other matters to tend to today. "Do you need to get up?"

"No,.. I'm just hungry.."

Now Leo laughed openly,carefully turning Ji to face him. It was always so easy to kiss this man in his arms, to feel the growing warmth and pleasure that flowed from even such a simple act. 

"So am I.." another kiss,deeper this time. 

"Leo-" what started as a protest ended as a sigh, far easier to give in,to relax into each other. 

"We can eat later.."spoken between kisses, his hands now exploring the familiar landscape of his lovers body slowly, no need to rush. None at all. " Maybe a nice long bath before then?"

Leo was intent on convincing Ji of his plans and for his part Ji was very easily willing to follow wherever he led. 

Lazy mornings like this were too rare. It was best to take advantage of them, enjoying every moment. That was Leo's plan after all, the details of which rested in his imagination and were definitely open for discussion.


	8. In Fate's Hands

He had no idea how long he had been here,time passed in the darkness with infinite slowness. A darkness broken only when angry men stormed into the room,shouting in words he did not understand demanding something and venting their anger on him. He wondered idly if they were having a difficult time in disposing of him. Maybe Viktor decided it was good enough to have a potential rival out of the way without being directly involved. It could also be that he had been simply forgotten and the danger passed. Thinking of himself as a rival made him laugh,though in truth he could only manage to cough. He wasn't important enough to bring food or water to regularly and those moments were becoming increasingly rare. 

The usual routine altered when loud noises woke him from sleep. It was not the men coming for him again,this noise was different. There was more shouting and Phichit swore he could hear gunfire. It wasn't too long before the door was thrown open and light blinded him. He couldn't see the man who rushed in and grabbed him,roughly forcing him to his feet and nearly dragging him out of the room. He recognized the man,Phichit had seen him in the mansion Viktor called home,where he himself had lived-the stern faced man from Kazakhstan who only seemed to loosen his composure when the Russian Yuri was around. His presence caused Phichit concern over what exactly was happening. The man shouted something in Russian then pushed at his back,urging him on with the end of his rifle. 

Stumbling into the hallway he might have been afraid if he felt anything beyond complete exhaustion of mind and body. At least it would be over soon if they were taking him back to Russia. Maybe he was already in Russia? Wordlessly he stumbled forward,his body resisting vaguely aware of bodies they encountered along the way,most of them dead. He had seen a lot of death lately, far more than he expected when he began working with his friend Yuuri and Viktor. He had only dealt in information,using his skills and natural charm to provide pictures,videos,phone conversations-whatever was needed. 

Now everything passed in a blur, he found he was often using the plastered walls for support and beginning to wonder if it would be worth all the effort. It was very dark beyond where the light on Altin's head gear shone. The wall felt suddenly wet and slimy -once he took a look at his hand it was red. There was more than blood on that wall. The sight,the feel on his hand made him gag. There wasn't anything in his stomach to let out,but he did briefly choke on what did manage to find its way to his throat. He told himself it had to end,if he just ,managed to go a little more it would end. Exactly what was keeping him moving now was a complete mystery,he really wanted to just lie down on the floor and give up. 

From the darkness ahead a much larger Russian man appeared,tall,well muscled and wearing a wide grin as if he was enjoying his work. 

"Altin the place is clear.."the large Russian turned his gaze to the much smaller man."Is this who we risked our lives for?"

"You know why we're doing this.." his tone harsh 

The red haired Russian laughed "Yeah, I know....a favor for your little tiger." slapping him on the back. " The car is waiting but we must hurry.." 

There was nothing to be gained by arguing,they had no time...but the comment did make Altin glare at the larger man. 

Again Phichit was roughly brought to his feet and forced to stumble on between the ones who rescued him as they made their way to the door. Somewhere in his mind he wondered if they were speaking English for his benefit ,or whoever might be in contact with them. They spoke Russian into their wireless devices. Once they were outside he was shoved into the backseat of the car ,followed by Altin. The moment they were all in the car sped away.

"Here, try to drink.."

Phichit took the offered water bottle, eager to open and down its contents. The moment liquid touched his throat he began to choke,bending over as a fit of coughing overpowered him. The bottle was taken away quickly.

"Keep trying.."

There was concern in the man's voice and it gave him a small sense of relief. They were moving behind Viktor's back, that much his mind decided, once more attempting to get him somewhere safe. If that was possible. He felt certain Viktor and Yuuri would reconcile, the two of them were never able to stay apart very long . He also felt certain his fate would not be so clear. If he was seen as a rival,a threat the danger to his life would not go away. He harbored no illusions who Yuuri would choose between them and even if he was allowed to return to Russia he would exist as a captive. 

"Wherever you're taking him I'm not sure he'll make it." the large Russian commented.

To be honest he wasn't too sure himself. The coughing over he sat back against the seat,closing his eyes. It hurt,every fiber of his body shouted at him for attention. His mind was getting foggy,making it difficult to think. Shoved lightly in his side he opened his eyes,taking the bottle again. He felt warm yet cold chills began to pass through him more and more often. He managed a few small sips of water by the time the car arrived at a small airport,to a runway where a private jet waited. It wasn't Viktor's. He didn't recognize the emblem on its side. 

"I am told someone called in a rather large favor," Otabek Altin was telling him as the car door was opened from the outside."Here we hand you off to them, survival is up to you."

He felt uneasy about all of this,a bad feeling coming over him as he was rushed into the plane by people who gave no sign that they were doing anything but delivering cargo. They did not talk to him,only gestured to a seat quickly as they prepared for take off. 

Survival was up to him.

At the moment he would place bets against that outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two chapters following this one are almost finished and I am fighting the urge to post them right away but I will do my best to wait at least another day. I did work hard on them. This was probably the hardest to write so far. Hang in there if you are worried about Phichit.


	9. clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post this now,there is a bit of swearing(if I was in such a position there would be more)   
>  I know Phichit has been through a lot ,but I have my limits.

Her day in Hong Kong had been perfectly happy ,spending time with Leo and Guang Hong and relying heavily on his knowledge of the city and the language. Both Leo and she were doing their best to learn what they felt most necessary to learn. She still felt odd wearing the surgical mask though she had bought what she thought were cute ones. Today she wore one with cute little frogs on it. Leo wore one with music notes and a pattern of roses. Guang Hong gave it to him,of course,it suited Leo. They shopped,explored and ate lunch all with an incredibly happy Leo navigating the crowds with his love's chair. For once she felt happy,their joy infecting her as well. She ignored the fact that they were still being watched, allowing herself to enjoy the day. It was ,after all,totally impossible not to have fun when she was with them. She was reluctant to return back to the apartment building,but it was getting late. Night had already arrived. 

They walked inside and headed for the elevator,each carrying their bags and the things they had bought that day. Her phone chimed happily and she looked to see who was calling,few knew her number. Her two companions in the elevator were lost in their own conversation so she didn't feel guilty answering her phone. It was Celestino,to her surprise and as she opened the call the elevator arrived at her floor. She pulled her face mask down from her mouth.

"Hey,what's going on there? Do they have news yet?" she waved goodbye to her friends,stepping out of the elevator. They were 5 floors above her. 

"I have a new job for you "he told her "are you able to talk?"

"I'm almost at the door to my apartment, can you wait a minute?" she walked to her door,a door like all the others and found the keys in the right front pocket of her jeans. "You sure they'll let me work for you right now?"

"It's been given an okay,I believe they will help you as much as they can."

Kira wasn't certain she was quite ready for another job,lately she had been doing small jobs mediating deals for the clan that paid for her life here. It was a bit safer than what Celestino usually offered. Maybe he'd let her think it over. She put the key in its lock,turning it and grabbing the doorknob,twisting it and pulling the door open carefully managing her bag and phone. Her attention on the phone and not dropping her bag she slipped inside ,taking the key and then shutting the door before turning and looking into her main room. 

After that her mind went blank. 

She heard Celestino's voice in her ear but her mind had no understanding of the words,none of it made any sense. He might have been shouting. Maybe. She wasn't certain.

Frozen there in place,her bag of groceries on the floor,along with her keys...for some reason her left hand held onto that phone keeping it in place at her ear. Nothing else seemed to register in her mind beyond what was presented to her now, an impossibility right there in her living room. It was placed in her direct line of sight between herself and the kitchen area with its small table and three chairs. Of course there were three chairs, the remaining one was right there past the couch that faced a large window with a scenic view of the apartment complex next to this one. She envied Leo and Ji ,at least they got a somewhat better view since the building next door was not as tall as this one. It would be nice to see something other than another building.

\--You really should move.---her brain was telling her that

Her body ignored the suggestion,her eyes slowly focusing on what was there. Somewhat absurdly she felt annoyed that whoever had been here and left this surprise for her left the ceiling lights on in the kitchen area. There was a large open space that constituted the kitchen,small eating area and living room. The only doors were to the bedroom and a basic guest bathroom-they called it a water closet she thought idly,didn't they? She didn't directly pay the bills but still....it was a waste to leave the lights on like that.

\--You really,really need to deal with this. --again something in her mind insisted,it was getting harder to ignore.

There was a bigger bathroom connected to the bedroom, with a walk in shower and a decent tub. The bedroom was fairly large too,holding a queen sized bed and a window since she had a corner apartment. The others only had a window in the main room. 

\---It's not going away,you know. You're not going to wake up. -----her mind insisted,there was no escaping this. 

The phone fell from her hand and her arms hung limp,very,very slowly her mind was processing the information,along with a lot of questions. Some of which Celestino might have answered if she'd been able to register what he had been saying. He might still be talking. Maybe. Down there on the carpet.

\--You're being ridiculous,you were trained to deal with worse than this. ---that made sense,her mind had a point. For a well trained gun for hire she wasn't acting as she should.

Then again, this wasn't anything she expected. Sure,she expected they might break into her apartment one day,most likely bribing the staff in order to harm her. She was prepared for that. But somehow,opening her door,walking into her apartment,her home for the past four months and meeting those familiar brown eyes as wide eyed and startled as she must have looked--seeing the small but lean muscled frame in worn jeans and hoodie tied quite securely to one of her kitchen chairs was not something expected.

Phichit was her job?

"What....How....Why... the hell?" she still found it difficult to form words into sentences. "Shit..."

She usually did not swear,but now seemed an appropriate time.

"Damn it...hang on,I'll get you free.." she rushed past him and into the kitchen,finding the one drawer she needed with practiced speed-fishing through the contents in search of what she needed to cut his bindings. Plastic ties held hands behind the chair,and his ankles to the chair legs-those would be the easiest to cut. Some sort of plastic covered cord kept him in place at chest and waist,along with electrical tape covering his mouth.

For the moment getting him free of the bindings was her first priority, after that she could assess any damage. With only a glance she could already tell he was not in good shape. Without giving him warning she grabbed at the tape,ripping it off his mouth during which he providing her with a hoarse , shout and a short coughing fit. He was still breathing harshly as she cut the ties on wrists and ankles, then working on his other bindings. Whoever left him here wanted to be certain he wouldn't get away.though she doubted their captive had the strength to make much of an effort to escape. She worked quickly,taking notice of how dirty and torn his clothing appeared, the strong odor of sweat,body odor and blood.

He sat there in the chair, appearing more than a little disoriented as his eyes took in her apartment. Working on auto pilot herself Kira knelt there rubbing at his wrists and ankles to help the circulation flow.

" This is just so ...." frustration and anger welled up in her now,not understanding any of this."What the fuck are they thinking,rescuing you from wherever you were and bringing you here,leaving you like this? I am so going to make them pay.."

To her surprise Phichit pulled his hands away "No.." his voice still dry and cracked,lips red,sore and damaged by the tape..he was trying to stand.

Kira got to her feet,moving to prevent him. "You shouldn't be doing that.." a warning as she grabbed at his arm. "At least let me.."

Again he pulled his arm away from her,angry,groaning in pain as he made himself rise from the chair. She doubted he was fully aware of his actions or surroundings,he made no signs that he even recognized her. Something that might be for the best at the moment. He tried to speak,whether in English or not it hardly mattered it came out in mumbled nonsense anyway. The foolishness of his attempts at standing and perhaps fleeing the situation was made very clear when after taking only one step he wobbled,gave a pitiful moan and as she moved to help, he promptly collapsed on top of her. 

For a very long moment she stayed there,listening to the labored breathing and the fast heartbeat. The floor hard beneath her back, the body mostly covering her unresponsive. She needed help. He needed help. She had to get back to her phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you stick around,the next chapter is almost finished and I am starting work on a surprise au-involving all the yoi characters I can fit in,something I have wanted to try. No Oc's in this au,unless I need minor characters. If it works it will be fun and silly. But it will be more of a challenge.   
> I am also determined to finish this story.


	10. Broken

With Leo's help they managed to get Phichit onto the couch,the man still shaking as if cold as much as he was sweating. After he collapsed she really had no idea what else to do. Ji was talking with a doctor he trusted,one who had helped many times and it eased her fears a little. He was most likely dehydrated,undernourished and fighting some sort of infection or illness or both. What exactly he'd gone through in the near month since she last saw him she could only imagine. No matter what had happened between them he did not deserve this and having him die now would do far more than be troublesome for her.

After all,no matter how hard she tried in the past year Kira found it impossible to hate him. Maybe it was just Phichit's natural charm or the fact that the man had corrupted her from the start she could not bear to see him suffer. There were cracks in the walls she put up to protect herself,to harden herself for the life she chose to lead. One could not allow weakness of will,self doubt or empathy when your job very often dealt in the lives of people in one way or another-to cause their death or their salvation. It depended on whoever paid the fee and the terms of the contract. Reason and logic told her she could not trust,that she should always be on her guard since there were those that would pay to see her dead. Her mind warned her when she first met the man,he was an information man working for the Russian mob. The best friend and consul for the mob's Second. Getting too close would be far too risky.

Kira learned that reason and logic had nothing to do in certain matters. 

That knowledge helped her understand the events causing the current situation to exist. 

"You sure about this?"Leo's words broke through her thoughts. "It's not like you to want to do something like this."

They were standing by the couch where the disputable cause of everything lay under blankets sweating and shuddering. He had a point. Kira had never usually been good at dealing with sickness,not even if she was the one sick. It annoyed her and she was prone to letting others deal with it or take care of herself. Before she would have gladly let Leo and Guang Hong deal with this. 

She nodded. "We can't take him to a hospital and bringing anyone else into this would only give us unwanted attention. I don't have a choice anyway,his safety is my job right now. "

"Be honest with me,"Leo wasn't buying her words," You're actually happy they decided to dump him on you."

She looked away,the night city outside her apartment suddenly catching her attention. "Not happy exactly.." she admitted,not quite understanding her actions. If this was just another job why did she rush to contact Leo after Phichit collapsed on the floor? Why had she been so demanding that do something? 

He was smiling. "Just be careful, remember what happened the last time."

She returned her gaze to him,"Like I could forget." grumbling now,irritated that he could see through her efforts to remain unaffected.

"Good. "he sounded satisfied" Ji and I will be around to help. The meds should be here in an hour or so. We'll see about getting your guest some clothes. If you can't handle matters we'll do what we can. " 

Ji ended the call,moving his chair closer to them. "I'll come back when the meds show up and tell you what I'm told about what to do. Until then they told me that you should watch over him,try to get him to drink -water or broth would be good. He needs the liquid so if nothing else try ice cubes or crushed ice. If we can't handle things my doctor told me he would come by to help."

That would be dangerous, "He shouldn't get so involved." Kira put in.

"His choice,not any of ours. We can't afford to be stubborn and I trust him." Ji told her

"Very true.."Leo was smiling at Ji as he said those words. A life was at stake and if seeking outside help saved Phichit they had to take the risk. 

The way they looked at each other gave her some joy, and a bit of guilt at bringing them into all of this as well. "You two should get back to your place. I'll be okay here."

Leo's concerned eyes fell on her. "You're sure about that?"

Kira nodded,"There isn't much you can do right now anyway. I'll look after him until you get back here with the medicine. " then adding as an afterthought "And maybe that doctor."

Her friend sighed,she was also very stubborn and determined. "Okay,then,we'll be back as soon as possible. Celestino is still working on getting our guest out of the country?"

"I think he's trying for Thailand and his family,he believes Phichit will be safest there until everything calms down." That was what Celestino had told her,it was her job to keep him safe until that could happen. 

They were reasonably safe here,watched by members of the clan Guang Hong's family belonged to. She'd felt eyes on her everywhere she went in and out of the building. Despite her concerns Otabek had been right in having them bring Phichit here. He would be angry though in discovering how they had treated the man. As is Phichit was meant to be her captive now. Thinking on it disturbed and disgusted her, someone wished him to suffer more than he already had and she could think of no reason for such actions. But he would be safe here for now. She wasn't exactly hiding out here in Hong Kong. In most people's eyes she had no reason to hide,very few knew of her involvement in the first attempt at getting Phichit to safety. The more careful they were the more time they had. 

It made perfect sense. 

But it didn't make her feel any better. 

"Anywhere but here right?" Leo was teasing her,she knew it and glared at him. That only made him laugh. " You know it is okay to admit you actually might care about someone else,Kira. "

"That is your opinion,Leo,not mine." she was grumbling,irritated 

This sort of thing always happened to her, the moment she started feeling comfortable and safe something destroyed all of it. It seemed she could not let herself feel safe ,nothing but trouble came of it. Her friends were leaving. She didn't dare admit she had no desire to be alone with Phichit. She wasn't good at anything this situation required. 

"When this is all over everything will go back to normal. Maybe we can take a vacation?" Ji spoke happily as he and Leo headed for the door.

"Whatever you want, mi amor" Leo leaned over the chair to kiss the younger man who blushed fiercely red. "Be careful." the last part was meant for her,reminding her. 

Those men always seemed to stay positive, even in the worst circumstances. Nothing less than that and the love they held for each other could have gotten them through the past months. She felt amazed at the bond those two shared. She found herself wondering over such thoughts in the silence that remained once they had left. 

Making the decision to use crushed ice,glad that her refrigerator had that setting,Kira brought the bowl of ice pieces and a damp cloth, taking a seat on the carpet near his head. It was here that she fought the unaccustomed feeling of helplessness she experienced the moment he had collapsed into her once she freed him from his bonds. Usually she knew what to do in a situation,from experience and well formed instincts from countless hours of training. It was required of her to be able to act quickly and decisively in an urgent situation,one that meant her life or death. Dealing with the possibility of facing someone else's struggle for life was a thing she normally avoided at all costs.

Now it was here in front of her. Her mind seemed to focus only on that man lying on her couch, shivering and sweating,moving restlessly at times his lips forming words she didn't quite hear. The rich tan of his skin now paled and muted,dark hair damp and flat against his scalp. His breath was labored and almost obscenely loud to her and she fought the urge to run,but there really was no escape from this. Reaching out hesitantly she placed her palm on his face finding his skin hot . Considering the bruises and numerous cuts,the ones she could see, and the certainty that wherever they held him was from from sterile he most likely had infection. There was also the fact that he'd most likely been drugged. He needed water and food as well. No matter what had happened between them he needed her now. Focusing more on that helped to steady a rising anxiety inside her. One step at a time,take on one thing at a time.

Cold,an uncomfortable almost painful cold when her bare fingers selected a piece of ice. Bringing it to his lips,carefully tracing the cracked surface the heat was quickly turning into liquid. Liquid that he denied,allowing it to stream down his chin toward the pillow his head lay upon. Every attempt failed. If this continued dehydration would claim his life long before anything else got a chance. 

"You have to try,you need the water." she spoke but wasn't certain he could hear or understand her. There was no harm in trying. "You made it this far Phichit, a lot of people will be angry if you give up now." 

Frustrated she took the cloth she'd left on top of the ice and began to wipe his face. 

It would be easier if she had been able to hate him,or at least be unaffected by the memories and emotions threatening her sanity. It was all his fault. All of it. The fact that she could no longer exist as she had before meeting him. The walls had been cracked and she failed at every attempt to rebuild them. Everything she had spent her life training to do ,what had once been so easy to do was now made difficult. The more time passed the more cracks appeared. Leo was not the only one to notice. This was not like her at all. 

"Idiot." muttering the word she didn't know if she meant herself or Phichit. Either would be correct in her opinion. 

Putting the cloth aside she took another piece of ice,once again teasing his lips. This time his mouth opened slightly to accept it. Finally. 

The deep brown of those eyes met hers and for an instant she was certain he saw her, feeling the relief wash through her. The moment passed quickly but not before she thought she could see his lips curve up in an almost smile- not before she heard his dry,cracked voice speak something she never expected to hear. Not ever again. 

"หัวใจของฉัน" 

She knew what that meant. It was something he made certain she understood. The one thing she remembered over all the scatterings of words and phrases she did her best to understand but could never quite say correctly. She froze ,unable to move or speak or even think until the eyes shut again , caught in a flood of emotions and memories. Kira would convince herself that he hadn't seen her, that she'd been mistaken. Maybe a part of her wanted to hear him call her that again. The insanely reckless part of her. The part that must be kept shut away in the furthest corners of her being. Her orders were to keep him safe. 

Nothing could ever change the past. What you experience becomes a part of you. You can not allow the past to consume you. She told herself these things,bringing another piece of ice to his mouth lingering a bit too long as lips searching for water found her fingertip. Light,careful and still a bit cold the sensation went through her,sending a chill up her spine along with a low shudder. Stunned she pulled away. 

A knock on the front door,followed instantly by her friend brought her back to reality. Leo. The medicine. For many reasons Kira could not have been happier to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "หัวใจของฉัน" --my heart in Thai, if the translator is correct
> 
> Working on the next chapter,hope to have it out in a week. I am also working on the AU I mentioned,it is tough but I am enjoying my attempt at adapting the source material. Most characters were easy to assign to their roles but I had a tough time with a handful. I am making an attempt at an "A Midsummer Night's Dream" AU, and am deep into Act 1 Scene 1 as of now. Not sure how it will come out but I am having a lot of fun trying.


	11. Chasing Shadows

The first time he opened his eyes he wasn't entirely awake, he felt as if he were floating somewhere between sleeping and waking. There was a not at all unpleasant numbness to his body, though he still felt cold. There was an unfamiliar man sitting by where he was lying, a man who looked somewhat familiar,though he had no idea why . Kind brown eyes regarded him and Phichit's still fuzzy mind remembered a voice in his mind sometime while he was still in darkness, a doctor. The man was a doctor who had come here to help him. The man seemed kind as he noticed his patient was blinking at him,confused, and smiled as he began to check on his current state. An object was stuck into his ear to check his temperature and cold metal of the stethoscope on his chest to check breathing. 

"Better,but you still need to sleep. "the doctor told him quietly "You're lucky,looks like the worst of it is over."

Phichit still wondered about that. His shirt was pulled back down,the blanket replaced and he drew it closer around his shuddering body. He was on a couch,in someone's living room he decided looking around at what he could see. It was dark,either night or a very smoggy day-the only light coming from a small table lamp on a stand by his head. He had vague memories,scatterings of images in his mind and he struggled to connect them. How or why he was here he couldn't quite recall, the more he tried the more it seemed to elude him. 

"Where.."he spoke but his voice sounded hoarse and his throat felt dry.

The doctor opened a water bottle and put a long straw inside before bringing it to Phichit's mouth. "Drink,but take it slow. "he advised in that calm,quiet tone. "answering your question,I have a feeling you are safer here than anywhere at the moment. "

After sipping the water he pulled away,"Thank you." 

The man put the water bottle on the table with that lamp,and surprisingly laughed a little as he began to return his instruments to their bag. "The one you should really thank is over there,but don't wake her. She could use the rest too."

The man got up from his chair,taking his bag and moved beyond the couch and closer to the door. It seemed impossible and at the moment he couldn't remember how any of this came to be,but she was there on a recliner,snuggled under a blanket sleeping almost without a sound. It always fascinated him how she could do this,sleep so quietly with very little movement. That his brain remembered, along with the knowledge that she only slept so deeply that very little would wake her when they shared a bed. If that was the case now,he felt it had to be if nothing had woken her yet.....glimpses of memories flashed in his mind as he considered the situation. There had been a dark place, pain,hunger,thirst and people who only seemed to exist to cause him harm. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember anything else. 

Now on the other side of the couch the doctor placed a medicine bottle there and then put a hand on Phichit's shoulder .

"Think of it as a small bit of hope if you want, " he glanced over at the now almost childlike form mostly hidden by her blanket. " Her phone will wake her when it's time for your pills. I believe she can handle things and she knows to call if I am needed again so don't be concerned. Right now you should only be concerned with getting better."

With those words the doctor calmly walked out of the apartment,leaving them alone. Exhaustion still held him,he barely had the strength or will to move and sleep continued to pull at him to return. Why did he end up here? He had a flash of memory,a large red haired man laughing. Had the man been laughing at him? He felt anger along with that memory but could not figure why. He wondered if this was where he was supposed to be. If their plan had been to kill him they had failed. He harbored no illusions as to why he wasn't dead, nor any about why she had helped him. Kira did not hate him,but she certainly did not feel for him as she once felt. His own actions saw to that and he had witnessed the complete destruction of the bond they once shared,the light in her eyes turning as cold as when they first met. Maybe even colder. 

He slipped into the darkness once more,his mind chasing after memories a part of him knew were important. There were clues that would answer his questions. He might also understand the reason he felt safety here was only temporary. The reason he was wondering if Victor was only part of why all this happened. It seemed convenient that Victor found out what had happened between himself and Yuuri after so long as well. He had a lot to consider but his mind abandoned him as soon as the thoughts arrived. Phichit willed himself to remember. 

His last thought lingered before sleep fully claimed him.

They won't be happy that he is still alive. It wasn't part of the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens.....things aren't exactly as they seem as Phichit is slowly discovering the truth.


	12. The Path Ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally completed,sorry I am a little late. I try to do a chapter a week,but it took me awhile to get into the right mood to write this part. Thank you to all who are reading this story.  
> Things are complicated for Phichit right now and even I am uncertain how everything will turn out. I'm kind of letting them decide that for me. The main plot is already planned out,everything else is being worked out as I go.

Phichit Chulanont was in the middle of a dream when suddenly he heard music. Even in the depths of sleep he knew this was an odd thing to happen so he let his mind follow the music,leading him out of sleep and toward consciousness. He felt far more comfortable then he had in a long time,warm ,sleepy and reluctant to fully wake. But as the memories started to return and he remembered where he was at the moment there was no other choice but to fight back the tempting lethargy and open his eyes. Light greeted him first,natural light...uncertain what time it was he only knew it must be daytime. How long he'd been here he still didn't know,it was one of an increasing amount of questions he had. Soft,quiet music continued and he recognized it from Kira's usual playlist,the one she played when she wanted to think over some matter or other. Raising his head slightly he found her sitting in the recliner,legs folded under her her blue eyes intent on whatever was displayed on the computer tablet she held in her hands. For now he was content to lay there watching, considering how the sunlight caused the gold and silver highlights that normally blended in to shine in the long hair held back in a ponytail, though a stray strand of it freed from the bonds fell free at either side of her face. Her clothes reflected her normal choice of comfort over style or fashion,jeans and a hooded sweatshirt whose red toned added a light color to her pale skin. 

He remembered too much, and it was far too easy to lose himself in the past right now. He told himself there were other more important matters to consider now. He lay there on the couch,wondering what he should do when his nose caught the scent of food,namely rice and something else, causing his stomach to rumble in response betraying him. Hunger obviously won out in the end. 

"You're awake,.." She looked up from her tablet at the sound,surprised but relieved. Her eyes met his,the ghost of a smile touching her small mouth as she set aside the tablet and got to her feet. He couldn't help but watch as she walked over to him. "How are you feeling?" 

He managed a smile,"I'm alive.." he kept his tone light, not wanting to concern her anymore than he already had. 

"Despite their best efforts,right?" she was saying " I was hoping hunger would wake you. Can you sit up?"

That proved a bit more difficult than he expected it would be,minor waves of dizziness arriving as he began to move. Intending on supporting him she held his arm and back. Now the scent of her usual shampoo and body wash confronted him,along with her firm grip on his arm and the hand at his back. 

"Take your time," there was concern in her voice, not exactly what he expected from her. "You're still unsteady, you have been out a few days and you need to get your strength back."

Slowly he achieved his goal and sat leaning his back into the couch,closing his eyes and forcing calm into his mind and body. He felt glad that he was wearing a red pajama top and pants, crossing his mind to idly wonder how his clothes got changed. The doctor had probably cleaned him up so maybe he had changed his clothes as well. 

"I'm fine. " it wasn't a complete lie, but a necessary one. "How long?"

"Six days, " her gaze went downward as she moved away from him and straightened her body. " Guang Hong found a doctor who agreed to help us and be silent about it. He even set up a makeshift I.V. in here because you were so dehydrated. He didn't think you'd make it but we told him you were stronger than you looked. "

"We?" he was confused

"Leo and Guang Hong live a few levels above my place, you are in Hong Kong by the way -I'm not sure if you knew that. Though I have thought about things and I don't believe you were supposed to be here. " she explained to him, her tone thoughtful and determined. Kira did enjoy figuring things out, observing people,the things they did and said. Her mind would work on this current situation until she discovered an answer that satisfied her. 

He found that an asset when they worked together in Russia,. It was his talent to find information and she would help him to discover what it meant,how it would be used or whatever else they needed to know from what he might uncover. Perhaps her near obsession with sorting puzzles like this was why she had gone this far in saving him. The Kira he knew in the past would have most likely given him over to someone else once he became something she didn't want to deal with. As far as his current location. Hong Kong,...he was sure someone had told him that even if he couldn't remember who told him or if he'd just heard someone mention that fact. 

"I wondered about that too." he admitted

She nodded,"We can talk about it later,"

Opening his eyes he regarded her,her gaze and her attention far from the moment. "Why did you go through all this trouble?" he wanted to know, even if the answer wasn't what he would wish to hear.

Her eyes went back to him, her gaze now confused. "I told you a long time ago Phichit, I'm not like you. I don't like having a lot of friends, I prefer a closer circle." she explained it to him as if he should already know. More than a little irritated that he did not appear to know. " But I am very loyal to those I call my friends. To a fault sometimes as I have been told. You've benefited from that now."

She walked away,heading the kitchen area as he drew the blanket around his shoulders as he felt a sudden chill. He hadn't meant to question her motives but after all he'd been through over the past weeks he felt uncertain about everything. Why else would she have saved him if not for the purpose of discovering what was going on behind the scenes? The knowledge that she still thought of him as a friend was surprising. Maybe it shouldn't have surprised him ,though. She had been one of those that tried to save him,to get him to safety after Victor discovered the truth of what happened. He had a lot to consider, but for now she was right. He needed to get stronger,to regain his health. That was the most important matter at the moment.

After hearing the clattering of dishes and things in the kitchen,Kira was carrying a tray over to the polished wood table in front of the couch. Setting it down she took a seat next to him on his right side. There were two bowls of white and red rice, two small bowls of what he decided was chicken broth , two spoons and two water bottles. Without a word she took a spoon and began to dig into the rice. 

"Don't eat too fast,your stomach needs to get used to solid food again." she told him 

Phichit was again surprised by her actions but accepted her presence at his side,no longer questioning her. She'd made things he could digest easier, simple things. He also noted there were two pill capsules on his side of the tray.

"Those are antibiotics,"she answered before he could ask. "The doctor insisted you continue with them for five more days just to be safe. I marked the time for tomorrow. "

A quick glance to her he saw she was eating the rice, looking out the window though her gaze and mind were again focused somewhere else. They ate in silence, as music played in the background. Phichit found comfort in the familiarity of this moment. He had no idea what to say in any case. He was hungry and though difficult he made himself eat slowly as she advised,taking small spoonfuls of the rice combination,sipping the broth and eventually taking the pills with swallows of water from the bottle. The food was far from hot once he finished all he could but it didn't matter. She remained there until he finished.

"I'm not a very good cook but I will try." she made the promise as she gathered the dishes,leaving the water behind as she returned to the kitchen. 

"Maybe I can fix something?" he offered,

"Maybe,..when you feel up to it. Right now it's better if you just rest. " dishes were being placed in the dishwasher as she talked. "You can take a shower when you feel ready as well, if you need help and it makes you uncomfortable if I help I can get Leo. They brought everything you'd need,including clothes. At least that's what Leo told me,he and Ji did the shopping. It's best if you stay here or in their apartment for awhile anyway. Given the situation we haven't been in contact with anyone and you'll be in danger going out alone."

"Do you think Celestino.." he didn't want to finish

She was silent,considering her words before she spoke. " We just have to be careful now,I'm sure you understand why. " returning from the kitchen she picked up a phone from the table."All we could manage so far is obtain this secure phone for you. Try to keep it close at all times,there's an image link on it-touch that if you're in trouble. "

He accepted the phone as she handed it to him and on the screen ,among a scattering of familiar images was an image of a cartoon hamster. He had to smile at that. "What does it do?"

"It warns those that can help,picks up on your location so they can find you."she explained,then she leaned in to show him something else on the phone,touching something and bringing up a contacts list. "Here,...we have been assured this will be a secure line that will go unnoticed but you can contact Yuuri when you want. Don't use it a lot or one or both of you could could get caught. He is still in Japan as far as we know. "

When she moved away the realizations hit him. Her words bothered him, but he understood her actions clearly. In her mind she was his friend still and she would support whatever decision he made. That meant if he still wanted to be more than friends with Yuuri she had made the decision to support him. She did this knowing she might have had to face Victor or his workers. Phichit felt stunned. In his mind the decision had been made the moment he set up that meeting in the hotel,not knowing all the reasons Celestino helped him get her there. He had been ready to leave his past behind, to attempt a fresh start. She had come there only to try to get him to safety. Or was that her only reason? 

Didn't she also infer he could leave here and stay with Leo and Ji if he wanted? Phichit already knew he didn't want that. They needed to work together to find out what was going on,why what happened to him happened. That was the main reason he would not leave here,but not the only one. 

Yuuri was his oldest and dearest friend. That was yet another relationship he needed to repair, and he was determined to do that. Phichit knew Yuuri belonged with Victor. They would find their way back to each other,overcoming their own issues. Especially Yuuri,he needed time to recover himself. They did need to talk. A conversation long overdue. 

That,too,was not the only one that had been avoided for too long. If he intended on going forward there was a lot he needed to do. 

He was,after all,stronger than he looked.


	13. Stammi Vicino  (Stay close to me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally we have Yuri Katsuki Nikiforov's thoughts and the decisions he has made.

A troubled Yuri Katsuki Nikiforov sat on the beach not far from his family's home in Hatsetsu Japan,the place he ran to when his world came crashing down yet again. The calm wind felt warm on this day, the scent of ocean and the sounds of waves idly coming to shore moved through him as he sat watching the sunset,considering how the growing light and soft colors played on the ring he still wore. The simple gold band was a constant reminder and quiet reassurance that no matter how badly things were broken,they could still be mended. Life,like the ocean before him, was not always this calm and peaceful. It was here, held in the sheltering cocoon of his family's love and support that he found a measure of that peace he lost when he'd been held captive for all those days. He wondered if this is where he should have gone in the beginning. He didn't blame Victor for not knowing how to deal with what happened and the effect the experiences had on Yuri. He had been a mess back then, falling into a darkness that felt inescapable. He had been damaged and felt ashamed because of that,feeling as if he were no longer fit to be at Victor's side. 

No matter what happened,Yuri still felt it-the bond between them remained. He never could deny the pull that man had on him, it had been inevitable since the beginning when he'd attended the party celebrating Victor Nikiforov's ascension to power as the head of his family in Russia. His attendance had been mandatory as the heir to his own family's Yakuza clan,a post his older sister refused. He'd felt empty that night,falling deep into the depression that plagued him all his life and drowning his feelings of uselessness in very expensive champagne. That was how they met, how his life had been permanently altered. The man had a grip on him that reached to his very soul. Even now he felt the bond, fractured as it was , the slow process of healing had begun. 

Nothing in life or love was perfect,there were always challenges to face and overcome. You would be tested in a variety of ways. Doubt can surface and if given too much attention can destroy in moments what took years to build. It was how you responded to those challenges that mattered. In his heart he knew Victor felt the bond as well. Neither of them knew how to handle the aftermath of his captivity,neither reached out as they should have done. In their silence the bond had been fractured. In desperation Yuri reached out to his closest friend for comfort and solace. When Victor discovered this he acted out in anger,allowing his emotions to rule his actions. Yuri had always been the one to calm Victor , as Victor was always there to support Yuri-all was chaos when everything shattered. The one who held the least blame in the events that caused this separation suffered for it. Maybe if he had confronted Victor instead of turning to Phichit much of this could have been avoided.

He needed to go back home,to Russia and to Victor. Four months passed since the secret had been discovered, summer had come to Hatsetsu. It was past time to mend what had been broken,but Yuri knew he must try. His conversation the day before made him all the more certain it was time to end his self imposed exile . If their suspicions were correct,Victor's life was in danger and Yuri could not ignore even the possibility. He spent a lot of time thinking about what she told him,expressing her own concerns over the events of the past four months and she was right. 

Resolute in his decisions,he rose from his seat on the piece of driftwood and headed back to the house. His father was out on business but his mother always greeted him with warm affection,in his time here she had been there for him as she always had been. He was grateful for that. She would make him breakfast, she told him he had to eat but first Yuri had other matters that required his attention. He reassured her before heading to what had been his room, and technically still was. The expected phone call came not long after he arrived. He answered quickly.

"It's good to hear from you Phichit." and it was,they had not talked since the night the mission to get Phichit to safety failed. Before his friend had been taken captive. "I'm glad to hear you escaped, how are you doing?"

His friend sounded happy that they were talking, "I'm fine,...I'm alive I guess and I think you know where I ended up?" 

"I did,.."Yuri paused a moment,considering what he could say to his friend. " Kira, she called me a couple days ago while you were still out of it. It's why I wanted to talk to you now. "

That made sense, "Are you doing okay there Yuri? I was worried something might have happened to you as well."

Yuri smiled, of course Phichit was more concerned for him than for his own well being. That was the nature of his friend, Yuri thought his friend needed to learn how to be a bit more selfish. "I'm feeling much better now, time here was good therapy. I've talked to Victor a little, I think everything will work out eventually."

He could sense his friend's happiness through the phone. "I knew it!"he was practically shouting. "The two of you are meant to be,Yuri, I always said that. Even....."his voice trailed off as he remembered. 

"It's okay,...just something else that I have to fix." Yuri's tone turned serious then,he had made his decisions and he would follow them through. He had to. With a long,deep sigh he returned to his conversation. "Phichit,I'm going to ask some things of you, not only as your friend."

"You know you can depend on me." Phichit was confused but he would do anything for his friends,especially for Yuri. 

"Of course,..I know.."another pause as he collected his thoughts and words to express them. "First tell Kira I believe she is right,Victor is most likely in danger. We need to focus on discovering who or what the danger is and what they hope to gain from their actions. Saving Victor from harm has to be my main concern right now,do you understand?"

There was still a deep fire burning in his friend and Phichit was beyond happy to witness that proven to him now. He always had faith in Yuri,always. Even back in their college days when his friend doubted himself,when his depression constantly threatened him. Yuri was a fighter. 

"You can count on me,Yuri."Phichit meant those words. 

"Good,..next I am arranging for you and Kira to travel here to Japan,to Hatsetsu so we can discuss our plans. She has not told me everything and I am fine with that . We must proceed carefully now and I will be depending on both of you to help me. None of what I'm asking is really a request,it can't be. There is too much at stake for that to be an option. All of us have bridges we need to mend before nothing remains to be mended. " He left Phichit with those last words and hoped his friend understood. Repair what can be repaired before everything is lost forever. Before your chance to act is lost. 

That call ended Yuri went through his contacts until he found the one name he sought. He needed to get word to Victor of his decision and would do so indirectly for the sake of their safety. Enough time had been wasted. The one he chose to carry his message would complain about being bothered but he would do it. In his own way he was concerned for Victor.

\----Give this message to Victor---Yuri typed ---If he refuses feel free to yell at him until he does.--

His message would be carefully selected verses of a song that meant a lot to both of them,so only Victor would understand what Yuri was saying to him.

\-----Stammi vicino---

\----inizio a prepararmi---

\-----Adesso fa silenzio----

It was all Yuri needed to say,at least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verses taken from Stammi Vicino(Stay close to me)   
> inizio a prepararmi----I'll start getting ready  
> Adesso fa silenzio---Now be silent
> 
> I liked the thought of them using their song as a sort of a secret code between them,and Yuri's involvement was inevitable since Victor might be in danger.


	14. Solace

Due to circumstances far beyond his control Phichit was unable to talk with Kira until the next day. His conversation with Yuri had been longer than he intended and Kira had been talking to Guang Hong and Leo in their apartment,not only to give him privacy during his call with Yuri. She also insisted he rest,not wanting him to overexert himself so soon. Phichit was fully aware he needed time to get back his strength,he'd reassured Kira when she objected to Yuri wanting them to travel to Japan. It would be a few days before the plans were completed anyway. This information being one of a few things he was able to tell her about what Yuri told him before she demanded their talk could wait. Still feeling weak he was in no position to argue,finding everything flowed better if he just went along with her demands. He ate what he could as night came to the city around them,checked the various cuts he had cleaned and dressed earlier, changed back into his pajamas and was sent to the couch to sleep.

Reluctantly he had set his phone down on the kitchen table,plugging it to charge it. This wasn't the phone he'd held before but it still held the same temptations. If not for the situation he would be happily searching through his social media and by now would have countless images of Hong Kong to share. Yuri always warned him about being so open,even with all his safeguards there was always the danger of being found but he had to admit he discovered he enjoyed that danger. He was very good at what he did, a talent he discovered early in life. Using social media to his advantage,finding information and showing off his life safe in the knowledge that if his safeguards failed the backups would not. The organizations in Russia, like the ones he grew up with in Thailand, were allowed almost free reign by the government. As long as the agreed upon lines were never crossed. It was the same often fragile peace that kept the balance among communities with the same goals on a world wide scale. 

In times like this when that balance was threatened loyalties would be shifting and they needed to find the source of these current issues. There were a lot of questions and very few answers,if Victor was in danger they needed proof. Phichit felt he would be happy to get back to doing what he did best, knowing he could seek out any information to be found. They had to work together, but he was certain he was far more eager at the prospect than Kira. Her reluctance was understandable. She didn't trust him completely yet and it might be that she never did again, a prospect he felt likely but would do what he could to prevent. 

The morning arrived and upon waking he felt more rested and actually looking forward to the day,even if it was cloudy outside. The weather did not match his current mood. Kira woke earlier, and once she appeared out of her bedroom,her hair pulled back and wearing a loose,wide necked plum colored top that showed the line of her neck,her narrow shoulders-he couldn't help but notice- Phichit took over. He was certainly not back to complete health by any means but he felt a bit stronger,steadier as he assured he he could manage on his own. Morning showers were his preference , finding they helped to wake him up and ready him for the day ahead. In contrast he remembered she enjoyed showering at nighttime, having told him they relax her. That memory crossed his mind as he lingered in the hot shower after removing the bandages scattered around his body and surveying the damage done. Bruising remained, but all of it was fading slowly as the harsh colors became somewhat softer shades of red and orange on his tan skin. Hot water felt quite good on his sore body so he took his time, indulging himself as he let the water fall on him.

There would be a day when he didn't remember what happened,at least not so clearly, but until then he forced himself to deal with all of it. His wounds would heal,the scars remain though the pain would ease with time. He was stronger than he looked. If his friends believed in him he would not fail them,not again. He had to survive,that was the advice Yuri had given him when Phichit asked what he could do to thank Kira and the others who saved him. The one thing Yuri himself vowed to do. Survive. Keep living no matter what. 

Following the shower,tending to his wounds,changing his clothes and a light breakfast he helped get the dirty laundry ready for the lady who showed up twice a week to wash and dry them, she came highly recommended by others in the building. Needing money she served a few apartments,taking their laundry down to the laundry area on the buildings lowest floor. Kira was stalling,he knew she was stalling but eventually they sat on opposite ends of the couch. For a few moments she held her phone,searching for something. Her eyes were a darker blue than usual as she handed the phone to him.

"Do you recognize this man?" a simple question. Those eyes not leaving his, waiting for his reaction. 

He did recognize the man whose photo she showed to him,but he had no idea why she had his picture on her phone. It was the same tall,heavily muscled,red haired Russian man who was happily killing the people who had imprisoned him not that many days ago. He doubted he would forget the look that man gave him as he shoved his broken body into that plane. The plane that was supposed to take him to a safe place but ended in him being barely conscious through the long flight, and feeling even worse as he was put blindfolded and gagged into a car. Under the picture were words in Russian he did not understand. When he told her she didn't appear surprised,she sighed and took back the phone,averting her gaze now. 

"That man is Burya Antakov ,a Russian mercenary soldier I met during that mission to save Yuri a couple years ago."she told him, "He is the other reason I left Russia a year ago. The man developed an interest in me."

If he had been in Russia at the time Phichit was he could not remember seeing him. Kira's tone held anger so her experience couldn't have been pleasant. "If he was bothering you why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure you could have done anything,besides Burya never meant to harm me. Not in a physical way." more anger and irritation showed in her tone as she went on. "I feared he might have a part in all of this. I still can't be absolutely certain. During my time in Russia I started to really hate him though. In the end I decided I might have to kill him someday. I hoped someone else would do the honors for me,but obviously that never happened. You probably never saw him because he didn't like you or thought you were useless to him. He only got close to people he thought he could use in some way,or had some sort of usefulness he could exploit. You don't want to know what he called Yuri after Victor brought him into his family. In his mind taking orders from a Japanese man would be an insult so he left to work with some group or other. He was always jealous of Victor and the power he held as well."

"Why would he cause what was done to me?" Phichit wondered about that. If the Russian hated him so much why didn't he just kill him when he had the chance? 

"You were a way to get to Victor,...to use Yuri and me as well. He must have discovered what happened between you and Yuri , knowing how it would affect Victor. Victor's reaction alone caused many to question his ability to lead the family. The way he isolated Yuri when he was at his lowest and Yuri's return to his family angered many among the Yakuza. Someone is seeking to cause doubts and conflict to break the peace." she reasoned, putting her phone on the table. "I have my doubts that he is in charge of anything,he never seemed that capable of creating and executing complex plans. That's why I didn't pay much attention to him. He seemed to be all talk, but that could have been part of the plan. He wanted to get close to me because of all the connections I've made doing missions for various organizations. I knew that was all he wanted of me and I hated him. Maybe I should have just listened to my instincts and killed him." 

Her left hand grabbed at the couch in irritation,her knuckles white with the effort. She felt at least partially responsible for what happened, Phichit realized that and placed his hand on hers. Her eyes questioned him. 

" You didn't know. " under his hand hers relaxed. His body remembered her touch and began to hum into life and forcing him to relax as well. She appeared entirely unaware of his sudden conflict. He had no choice but to pull his hand away. " If not Burya it would probably be some other operative. You're right that we need to work on this together. We need to find out who is behind all of this and why. If I had my laptop.." that had been left behind back at the hotel. 

At that she brightened a bit,remembering something she gestured to a backpack sitting on the recliner. "I almost forgot ,it's the reason I talked to Guang Hong and Leo yesterday. In that pack is a gun they managed to get for you and your laptop,charged and ready to go. Guang Hong couldn't break your security code,he's really not as good as you are at these things."she actually sounded almost excited as she told him. Then,almost proudly she declared "I did though."

That fact intrigued him, her eyes altered now as he met them, the different shades of blue now clearly visible. Deeper blue flaked with lighter blue tones. "How did you do that?"

She actually smiled then "You never changed the code, it didn't make sense to me but it was the same as I remember. Why didn't you change it?" the smile was gone as quickly as it arrived,her expression one of confusion now.

"It still does its job,why change it?" he decided. No one else knew it,none beyond Kira and his family. He thought Yuri knew the code but hardly used it and didn't know it was the security code to unlock Phichit's computer. It was the name he was known by among his family, a practice among his people. He had trusted her enough with that name and he remembered she only used it in private. It was something very,very few would know or understand the importance if they heard it. 

"I had to use an online translator since it was written in Thai and even if I think it's a pretty language to look at I find it impossible to read unless it's done phonetically."she was feeling proud of herself and he was enjoying the shift in her mood. It was a good idea for you to keep it that way. Does your family still call you that?"

He found he was smiling as well,how could he not. The fact that she remembered meant a lot to him. "All the time,though I haven't been back in far too long. "

"Then,when all this is over you should go back." she moved to get up off the couch."I'll go get it and you can get to work, I know how much you enjoy it."

What he did he told himself was a reflexive action,one he did without knowing exactly why. He had reached out to grab her wrist as she stood,keeping her in place where she was. Maybe he only needed a moment to gather courage,but not enough to talk himself out of it. Before she managed to turn and question him, he was on his feet and holding her close from behind. His arms as tight as he could manage around her shoulders. 

"You can trust me,Kira." he spoke quietly close to her ear. "I only ask that you be patient with me."

She did not respond,he didn't expect her to. But instead of pushing him away as he thought she might, verifying that this had been a stupid idea, her body slowly relaxed. She might only be allowing this out of kindness,that possibility did not escape him but he wanted this familiar warmth and comfort if only for a little while. The calm rise and fall as she breathed.the feel of her pulse and the soft touch of her skin helped. To his further surprise she moved her hands up to lightly grip his arms, an awkward,careful gesture but far from unwelcome.

It was her quiet,uncertain voice that broke the silence. "You need to rest, and you must want to get online again."

He sighed into her shoulder where he was resting his head now,loose strands of her hair tickling his face and neck. "Just a bit longer." he was nearly pleading. This closeness,even if only a kind gesture from a friend was something he needed after the days he spent in a nightmare. Tightening his hold on her body he was certain he felt a very low,barely noticeable shudder pass through her. He would continue for as long as she allowed it. Knowing she would most likely refuse to speak of this again. 

To Phichit it was a tiny fragment of hope. Healing would take time and effort, and he could not know the results. He was eager to get back to the online world he enjoyed, to seeking information from sites and people, but this chance might never appear again. If the events of the past few days had taught him anything it was that anything could happen and whenever possible one should live in the moment. To Phichit,this was a gift,one of many he'd been given. He might be able to repay these gifts one day. 

As long as he could manage to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my headcanon that his family's nickname for him has to be this in Thai first(I hope it translated correctly) หนูแฮมสเตอร์ in english(hopefully) is Hamster
> 
> In my research I read in various sources that Thai people usually have nicknames they are known by to friends and family,as well as a formal name given later in childhood. I couldn't resist thinking what Phichit's would be.


	15. Be patient with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I posted a chapter a couple days ago but I felt inspired to complete this one and decided to post it. This is Kira dealing with her own anxiety over everything, along with Leo giving support. (Guang Hong,too though he is only mentioned)  
> Having dealt with some of these emotions and confusion before it was a bit emotional for me in writing this. I have no idea if I did it justice though.

"I don't know what to do," Sitting on a comfortable chair in the apartment Leo and Guang Hong shared,Kira felt more than a little anxious. Leo was the one who insisted she spend the day with him, just as it had been Leo who insisted Phichit would be fine spending the day out in the city with Guang Hong. He was certain it would do both of them good. At the moment her opinion was in direct conflict with what deep inside she knew was a reasonably sound idea. Five days had passed since she and Phichit talked,since they made plans she found herself regretting. His arrival had altered everything in her life once again,just as he had when they first met. But this time wasn't quite the same. Now it seemed a thousand emotions battled inside her for control and she felt determined to prevent herself from being overwhelmed.

Kira wasn't exactly succeeding in her efforts. 

"Considering the situation it's understandable, that's why I thought you might want to talk." Leo was sitting opposite her,facing a window that looked out onto the city. Though the day was cloudy,once in awhile the sun poked through. "Or at least just spend some time, you need to take care of yourself you know."

Leo was making perfect sense, she knew that but .."Are you sure he'll be okay out there?" she had to ask,had to find some reassurance that nothing would go horribly wrong, leaving her feeling worse than she currently did. 

"Guang Hong is very capable , I believe he can handle whatever might come up. "Leo's voice held concern,as did his expression. His friend was in a condition he rarely saw her in. "Have you been sleeping enough?"

She shook her head,not meeting Leo's gaze. Still everything battled in her thoughts and emotions. "I try,I think I get maybe 3 or 4 hours a night now. It isn't easy...." she hesitated before continuing,uncertain how much she should tell him. He was her friend,she knew she could trust him. Besides the fact that she really needed advice. "He has nightmares,Leo, every night. If you saw him...."

These were the moments Phichit seemed the most vulnerable,when she felt absolutely helpless. Seeing him in such a state was something she had been entirely unprepared for, the usual energy and optimism replaced cruelly by fear and anxiety. Having trouble dealing with her own emotions ,her response was to shove them as far back into her mind if things became difficult -this assault was nearly overwhelming. These moments burned themselves into her mind and permanently burying deep in the depths of her heart. She felt so many things, a confusing mess of thoughts and emotions. From the newly formed sense of protectiveness towards him,growing guilt,helplessness,fear,anger at who and what caused this to break him so much and far more than she thought possible. He was reaching out to her, and she feared she was failing miserably. 

"I wonder that I might be pushing him too hard, but we need his help. I thought at first it would be best if I sent him back to Thailand so he could be with his family,like how Yuri went back to his, being with them might be better for him right now. " when she thought about it,that made sense. But there were other things ruling her mind right now. Hands in her lap,eyes downcast she had no choice but to face the truth of her situation.

It was Leo who voiced it. He had been her friend far too long not to notice and understand. "You just can't push him on someone else ,"he told her "Can you?"

She nodded weakly. "I feel responsible, and more than a little guilty over what happened and my part in it. I was doing my job back then and finding Burya's employers and connections was something we normally did, to be certain as to how we should deal with him. I should have let someone else handle him, it was a mistake for me to get remotely close to him."

"We didn't know he posed any threat," Leo was quick to remind her "We couldn't find anything significant about him,good or bad. The man was definitely a pendejo , but that was the only thing we were sure of at the time. You have no reason to feel guilty. Phichit seems very happy to be helping us out,maybe it's kind of therapy for him. He needs to be busy. If he is doing what he always loved then it will help bring him a sense of normalcy. Guang Hong can help him as well,maybe get him talking about things he doesn't want to burden you with. The same way you are talking with me."

She looked over at him, those kind brown eyes and the way she could never conceal things from him irritating her. Kira felt like a complete mess, exhausted in mind and body ,pushed to her limits. "All of you are crazy for having so much faith in me and my ability to handle everything. I have no clue what I'm doing,Leo, and I'm afraid I might make a major mistake. One that would only do him more harm. It annoys me,feeling helpless and my own damned stubbornness. I can't give up,it won't let me. " she sighed deeply,the effort relaxing her tense body slightly. "From what I found out looking online Phichit needs a lot of help, and it will probably be a long time before he heals -if he ever does. I doubt I am the right person for him to rely so much on. "

"You're doing better than you think you are,Kira. A lot of people would be giving up by now. The old Kira would have run by now,shoving him off on anyone else. "Leo was telling her the truth,as he always did. "Isn't that what you intended on doing after that mission, the reason you agreed to getting Phichit to safety. At least your main reason?"

Leo had known,of course he did. She wanted to put her past behind her,to walk away and never look back. In her reasoning at the time she thought if she did the mission,if she dealt with it in this way,she could walk away with no regrets. If there were emotional ties remaining she could shove them away in her mind and heart,in the place where she usually walled away the emotions she decided would prevent her from doing whatever was asked of her. She could be very cold and distant, allowing only a select few close to her. Leo always knew the truths she concealed from others. Phichit knew as well. The man had barged right into the place where she walled herself away, disregarding her wishes and any eventual consequences. 

It had been that way since she first met Phichit. His charm,the seemingly endless energy and optimism drew her in,luring her out of her comfort zone. She never met anyone before,not even Leo,who she felt instantly comfortable with. Everything came easily and naturally between them, nothing was ever forced. They simply accepted each other as they were. Before him she never went out anywhere she didn't know or with people she didn't know. She could be herself for once,letting her guard down and open herself to him. 

She averted her gaze again, feeling defeated. " I was so close to letting go back then, to moving on with my life however I could. Now I feel so damned confused and angry at myself. I did plan on walking away." she forced herself to admit it. Leo had certainly been hoping she would talk to him and she was. "I thought I loved him back in Russia, after what happened I figured I was wrong. Maybe it had only been friendship and nothing more was meant to come of it. I just wanted him to be happy,even if it wasn't with me. I must sound completely insane to you."

Leo smiled, satisfied that she was finally talking and opening up to him. He always found it incredibly difficult to get her to open up, she had a habit of concealing her concerns until they could no longer be ignored. "No more than the rest of us. Caring for someone else can lead us to do some things we never thought we would or could do. " he reassured her. "Neither you or Phichit is alone in any of this. We won't let you be,not Ji and I or Yuri even. Yuri won't abandon his friend or the one who has chosen to take care of him."

It was hard,harder than anything she faced before but for some reason she couldn't give up. The reasons behind her stubborn insistence on taking care of a very broken Phichit,ignoring her rational mind telling her this was way beyond her abilities, frightened her. Those she did store away for later. There were far more important things she had to face at the moment. She had support from her friends. Believing in their help eased her anxiety somewhat. Leo's plan had been to give them some space ,some time away from each other for awhile. He had seen the effect the past days had on her. Still she couldn't help but be concerned that something might happen out there that Guang Hong could not handle. It was difficult to relax. She had no desire to see him harmed any further. 

Why she felt that way, felt such anger toward Burya and anyone else involved in what was done to him she had no courage to consider. Right now,in this moment,he was a friend who needed her and if she could possibly be of help she would do her best. In her mind there was no other choice. If possible, she would make certain they paid for what they did, and do all she could do make certain it never happened again. There wasn't anything else she could be sure about. Not anymore. 

Kira slumped over in her chair,hiding her face in her hands on her lap. "I am so completely lost right now,Leo." it was how she felt, too tired to fight against anything right now. Far beyond being able to consider he motives she might have for her actions or the consequences of those actions. She was a mess of jumbled thoughts and feelings, not knowing which she should pay attention to and which would be best to ignore. 

Leo was there,though she didn't see him move from his seat,a hand on her back. "You are not lost," he was still reassuring her and she wondered if she was bothering him. If he might think she was annoying. " You are right here, doing the best you can. I'm sure Phichit understands." his hand moved away as she sat back up. she felt too exhausted to even allow for crying,though a distant part of her thought it might do her good. 

"Thank you Leo," her eyes were damp now but nothing more than that, 

"De nada,"he smiled at her "While you're here I'll do all I can to distract you,..I have movies we can watch or we can go out as well. Whatever you want. I told Guang Hong to entertain Phichit as well. "

She had to admit it did help her,the talking,the movies and the lunch he made them helped to ease her anxiety at least a little. They spent most of the day together,and though the others had not returned as night approached she wasn't too concerned. Returning to her apartment the exhaustion was overtaking her and she decided to stretch out on the coach and nap,removing nothing but her shoes. Sleep claimed her as she pulled the blanket around her against the air conditioners chill air, her head resting on the pillow oddly calmed by the scents leftover from the one who'd slept here before. 

This was how he found her about an hour later as he returned from his day with Guang Hong,shopping bags in hand. It had been Phichit's intention to prepare dinner for them that night,one bag holding the ingredients for said meal. She was lost to everything around her, held deep in a sleep of pure exhaustion and he dared not wake her. He had to admit that she looked cute as well,lying there curled up with what had been his blanket. He could not resist kissing her sleeping face on the forehead and the very quiet whisper before pulling away. 

"หัวใจของฉัน" he told her,careful not to wake her and unaware he had spoken this before in his fevered state. 

He then put some of his bags on the table by the couch,taking the last bag into the kitchen putting away what he bought. Dinner could wait,maybe tomorrow, he thought that as he found his laptop and continued with his work,leaving on only the kitchen lights hoping not to disturb her. The least he could do was stay nearby and watch over her. After all she had done the same for him every night since he unwillingly arrived here in her apartment. He already vowed to himself that he would keep her safe. Nothing and no one would harm her as he had been, he would make certain of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pendejo--- (pen day ho)an interesting Mexican swear(literally a pubic hair)
> 
> de nada----(day nah dah) also Spanish for "it's nothing" or used for no problem, don't worry about it 
> 
> หัวใจของฉัน --Thai(i hope i'm right) for my heart
> 
> My Spanish is extremely limited but I try
> 
>  
> 
> Once again I am changing my notes here if anyone reads this, there is a slight delay in this story as my mind has decided on the ending and my focus keeps going to future chapters. I may have to write a chapter or two ahead before writing the next one. Whenever I write I first work it out in my mind,only when I have a clear ideas of what I want will I start putting it down (even if it's only small bits of a chapter)   
> Right now my mind is jumping ahead. Working on my other au has helped.  
> I don't think it will be long but I thought I would warn anyone reading this in case it takes another week.   
> As for the story,yes I have finally decided on the ending, and I had to put a bit of a teaser here. If everything works out story wise.  
> \---------  
> I can tell you there are two ways the main story can be resolved, two ways to deal with the issues(Yuri and Victor,and those that seem to shake things up among the respective organizations) Both will be explored by two different characters in their own unique ways.


	16. Phichit's Secret Plan(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!!  
> I spent a lot of time last night and this morning on this and I hope you enjoy the long awaited(hopefully) new chapter in this story. I hadn't intended on writing this so soon but going through notes and things, I was inspired and had to write. It is a bit long but the chapter was leading my way, I had to let it go where it chose to go.  
> Hope you don't mind where it went.  
> I have discovered I like exploring Phichit and his motivations,at least in this story.

For all the time Phichit had known Yuri Katsuki he had remained a loyal, trustworthy and supportive friend, even in the dark times when Yuri's feelings of doubt got the better of him. He had become quite adept at handling his friends anxiety and giving such a responsibility over to Victor Nikiforov had been difficult. He trusted his friend, he trusted and supported all of his friends really, but Yuri had been special. There had grown a bond during those years in college, a bond that at times never exactly met his wants or needs. Perhaps that is where he had failed his friend. Phichit was the one that chose to wish for more than what he was given. He chose that dangerous path, the one surrounded by cliffs, knowing very well that one wrong move might cost him everything. 

Sometimes two people are better as friends. Sometimes what your body is telling you should never be listened to, even your heart can be misleading and take you places you have no right in going to. What happened was inexcusable. That truth burned into his soul. Relationships are not easy, it takes a lot of effort and compromise. Phichit knew he should have helped Victor understand, share with him what he knew about Yuri instead of feeling almost betrayed at losing the closest friend he ever had. Or perhaps losing a chance at what he knew was impossible. Yuri and Victor were meant for each other, they had to get through this and move on. It would make them a stronger team. They would be without equal among all the organizations,he felt certain of that.

But they needed help. Phichit was no stranger to the life Yuri had grown up in, being a child in one of Japan's most powerful Yakuza families, though he'd avoided that life himself. He discovered his talent was more in negotiations, finding information on nearly anything or anyone no matter how tight the security and he took the best pictures. He was proud of his talents, having innumerable contacts all over the world and flaunting those that might wish him harm by continuing with his very popular instagram page. It was a rush, sharing posts and images from wherever he found himself, his followers loved him,though most of them had no idea what he did for work. Usually he was highly protected by bodyguards he never actually saw. Yuri had told him that if he did not see them then they were doing their job. 

Nothing could have hoped to protect him from the consequences of his foolish actions. His wish to make things right led him to his plans, something he kept secret from everyone not directly involved. There were risks, but he accepted them. If he succeeded then it would be worth any risk. Traveling to Japan was part of that plan, something even Yuri was reluctant to agree to at first. Phichit was very good at convincing people to see things his way, convincing them to go along with his plans no matter what their first impression might be. 

Well,most people. After meeting him in Russia, Kira had thought he was insane. He remembered how she told him he was overwhelming, a near constantly upbeat, friendly to everyone person who most likely could never survive without his phone or some other connection to the online world. She found it incomprehensible that he kept such an open persona on social media, even if he did conceal his true line of work it wouldn't be all that difficult for someone to find out. 

"I think it's a stupid idea." she was telling him that now as they sat at her kitchen table, eating the meal he had made and discussing his conversation with Yuri. " You're not completely healed and we still have to watch our backs. We're still in danger, things might be quiet now but we don't know what he might be planning."

After the past few nights he couldn't blame her for being concerned. In his mind he believed it would be therapy for him, helping him to come to terms with what happened if his plan worked, and that depended on him convincing her to accept Yuri's invitation. Phichit knew she had his best interests in mind,that in her way she wanted to protect him from further harm (something she would never admit to) but if there was a way to end the situation without violence,without a permanent gap forming between Yuri and Victor he had to try it. He glanced at the phone in his hand and set it on the table. "Yuri has guaranteed our safety," he met her skeptical gaze with one of his best smiles. If he remembered correctly it was one that had a certain effect on her. In truth he had quite a range of expressions he cataloged in his brain some time ago for further use. " No matter what I would trust him with my life."

He was pleased to see her eyes widen, her face briefly flushing before she put her attention back on the plate of food. He had taken her off guard, a successful attack. The fact that he had made this dinner also helped. He had broken through her defensive walls in Russia and he'd remembered how easy the process had been for him, it was amusing that she must have thought he'd forgotten. 

"I know you trust him, I understand your loyalty to him, I admire the bond you two share, but I doubt he'd want you to go rushing blindly into a dangerous situation again. I thought you would have learned to be more careful." still avoiding his gaze she was reminding him of everything that caused him to be here with her now. Including that fateful night in the hotel when he had trusted her intentions. It bothered her, it wasn't like her to be open about her concerns but he'd learned to hear what she wasn't saying, to discover the hidden meanings in her words and actions. 

"I don't place my trust and loyalty in everyone I am acquainted with, Kira, true I have a lot of friends but I wouldn't place my life in all their hands." He enjoyed getting to know people and places, but not all of them held places in his heart. We'll be safe there and he is very willing to put an end to this situation. Don't you trust me?"

The question startled her as he meant it to, she looked over at him her expression one of confusion at first, then a bit annoyed. " You know I do."

"Then allow me to fight back in my own manner." he was being completely serious now, his tone echoing the firm resolve he felt. 

He managed to fool a lot of people, those who thought of him as being too open, too trusting and easy to deceive. Phichit was none of those things. He was observant in his own way, learning all he could about people and he could be very focused and determined when he wanted to be. Those close to him never underestimated him. 

She knew his true nature, but that didn't ease her concerns. Burya wasn't one to be misjudged either, the man was dangerous. Victor could also still be a threat, neither of them could afford to ignore that possibility. Not until that was sorted out completely. 

"Not everyone listens to reason." she spoke the truth, in their line of work more often then not things led to some sort of violent conclusion. People were territorial,greedy and generally out for their own selfish ends. 

He nodded in agreement. " True but if there are ones that will listen I'd rather reach out to them first, especially if those I care about are involved. " it was time to switch tactics. "Do you like it?" 

She blinked, once again confused at the abrupt change in topic. "Like what?"

"Dinner, do you like it?" he kept his words light, his tone calm and even. He could be asking about the weather.

Kira's expression turned to one of embarrassment now. "Oh,.....did I forget to thank you again. " it was a bad habit of hers, usually only when it involved him. She readily thanked other people. "Sorry,...it's very good,not surprising though,you were always a far better cook than I ever will be. "

"You tried at least." 

"Unfortunately for those on the receiving end of my attempts." a small self effacing smile came to her lips. "I've helped keep a lot of delivery places in business wherever I go. Lately I have a rotation of maybe five dishes I am decently good at making if I am in the mood for something either not from a take out place or when I'm not inviting myself to Leo and Guang Hong's place. They are far too nice to tell me I'm annoying them."

His smile was not nearly as careful as hers. "You are never annoying."

That actually made her laugh, an all too rare event, "Phichit you are lying and you know it." she told him,pointing her fork at him. "You above anyone else should know how annoying I can be."

What could he do but agree. "Definitely. If I remember correctly you are also quite stubborn, unyielding, closed off, distant , cold and a bit on the selfish side." he watched her reaction, she met his gaze with a look he knew well. This time she didn't look away,

"Thanks a lot," her smile was completely gone now. "I didn't need someone listing my flaws."

He was enjoying himself quite a lot right now. "That isn't a complete list."

"What are you up to now,Phichit?" he was definitely up to something,that much was obvious. 

"Your good qualities outnumber them though, " he reasoned off- handedly, " I will list those as well if you want. " his dark brown eyes locking on her blue ones now. " Do you want me to ?"

She muttered a curse he couldn't quite hear, inwardly deciding he must be feeling better. "Absolutely not." she put down her fork,sighing deeply. Not this game again. 

He was unconvinced. "No? " he was definitely enjoying himself now. 

"Sorry to disappoint you." She slid her chair out ,taking her plate and utensils as she rose to her feet. "I'm going to clear the table and put the dirty stuff in the dishwasher. Are you finished?"

No,he wasn't finished, not when everything was going so well. "Let me help you." he took his own plate and glass, rising from his chair and following her to the sink. 

"You don't have to, you made dinner" she placed her own dishes in the sink alongside the used pots and pans. "Isn't it customary that if someone cooks the other should clean up?"

Was it? Maybe that's how it was when she lived with Celestino and the other recruits. He stood beside her ,close enough to feel her warmth and catch the scent of light perfume, it was necessary in order for him to put his own dishes into the sink. He had come to prefer it when they washed and dried the dishes together, as they had a couple times since his abrupt arrival in her apartment. Maybe later. 

"There is something I have forgotten," he admitted to her then, so close he could easily touch her but he knew it would be best to proceed with caution. 

She didn't look at him, seemingly intent on ignoring the closeness and arranging dishes in the sink. "What did you forget?"

Now, he reached out with his hands on her shoulders turning her to face him. He was serious right at this moment and wanted to be certain she understood that. His eyes reflected that as he held her complete attention. " Forgive me as this is late, " slowly his hands left her shoulders,making their way down her arms to catch her hands and hold them tightly in his. "Thank you for taking care of me. "

Her pulse quickened,he felt it, and her gaze questioned him. She might have left him there if he hadn't already captured her attention. She did avert her eyes,though, looking down at the floor. 

"Phichit,..." her words were quiet,uncertain. He caught her off guard as he'd intended. "I don't ...know.."

One hand left hers, reaching to bring her face up to look at him again, first cupping her chin then allowing his fingers to touch her face. "It's okay,.."he reassured her, "I have been thinking we should travel to Thailand very soon, it is time I fulfilled that promise I made back in Russia. The promise that I would introduce you to my homeland and my family. "

She fell silent for a moment,no doubt considering his words. "Maybe,.."she decided,still not quite sure of anything at the moment. " One day."

"Not maybe, " his hand was in her hair now, finding its way to the back of her head. The other released its captive and had made its own way to her waist to draw her a bit closer. " Definitely."

He was bringing her face closer, smiling that one smile he knew could melt any resistance that might remain. The first kiss was a soft,quick touch of his lips to hers- a request,an invitation giving her the opportunity to shove him away if that was what she wanted. He pulled away just enough to study her response. Her eyes opened slowly,her gaze unfocused, her mouth still opened slightly. He'd taken her by surprise but her body didn't reject his hold on her, he took all of it as a positive response to his unspoken question. 

The next kiss was deeper, the intensity of it singing through his body causing him to exist in this moment alone as she relaxed into his embrace and hesitating at first, began to return the ,kiss. He hadn't forgotten how it felt, and his body certainly remembered. There was comfort in this familiarity, in holding her body close to his own, feeling their hearts beating faster , the joy in her response and how it made him feel. The slight trembling in her body, the muffled sighs and the growing heat between them ,the rising need to posses,to allow what his body was increasingly demanding -all of it threatened to overtake his reasoning. 

That would be far too dangerous. He'd come this far, he couldn't bear risking the loss of what he had gained. He pulled away just enough to give them a little space,to steady their rough breathing, to steady their rapid heartbeats,to let them calm down but he didn't let go of her. Neither of them spoke a word, words might ruin this moment. For Phichit this was a place of calm,of certainty in a world that had turned into madness around him. This was his safe haven, and he decided, even if this was all he could have,if nothing else ever came from this, he would treasure what he could have. 

His first plan had been more successful than he imagined possible.

Now he faced his other plan. Phichit would face the consequences of his actions and make things right in his own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just adding some hints about what is coming in the next 2 or 3 chapters,(this is the calm before the storm anyway)   
> a trip to Japan  
> Phichit is,of course, planning on getting Yuri and Victor back together. He is also intent on convincing Kira to help him in his plans, expect awkwardness,serious conversations, some fun ,a little humor and if Phichit's plans are successful,maybe romance.


	17. The  Long Journey Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I posted it without realizing I hadn't copied the complete chapter, I've felt inspired lately so here we have Phichit's plans coming close to their conclusions.

Looking back Kira realized she should have seen the signs, it wasn't like her to miss things like this, to allow herself to be put in such a position. Celestino would berate her, after years of training by him and by others it was humiliating how easily she was manipulated and followed so blindly into what was now so obviously a trap. She knew he'd been up to something ever since that first conversation he had in private with Yuri Katsuki. There had been other calls, all of them kept in secret from her. At the time she thought little of his actions. There were more important concerns and he seemed to be finally healing, becoming more like the bright, optimistic, determined and social media obsessed man she came to know during her time in Russia. He managed to sleep more at night with fewer night terrors, he was healing, in mind and body. The man also drew her to him, like a moth to a flame, as he always had despite her best efforts. Matters were quickly becoming dangerous, she had thought this trip to Japan would be a good thing for him. 

Maybe things could return to normal for her. He knew Yuri and his family, they welcomed Phichit as one of them, he'd be safe here. It had been her intention to leave him here, walk away and get to work on her own plans. Burya was gaining supporters, there were rumors that they were preparing for something. She wanted to talk to Yuri before she left. 

What happened on her arrival at the Katsuki residence in Hatsetsu Japan took her completely by surprise. Everything happened quite normally at first, they were welcomed at the door bodyguards shooed away by a woman introduced as Yuri's mother, an incredibly happy, warm and obviously loving somewhat plump woman who smiled and actually hugged her. Kira was not a hug person. She had no clue what to do, feeling like a wild animal caught in a trap. Phichit enjoyed her awkwardness immensely , happily hugging Hiroko Katsuki and introducing her.

That was when she noticed a few things off about this situation. Phichit had not removed his shoes, one of his bags remained in the car that met them at the airport, said car was also still there along with the driver still at the wheel, Hiroko Katsuki seemed to be the only one there in the entranceway to greet them and she was talking as if Phichit was going somewhere. She was assuring Phichit that she would be well cared for and to hurry back. All of it went by in a blur, her mind too slow at the moment to take everything in. When everything came into focus, Phichit broke from hugging Yuri's mother and faced Kira, who could only give him her angriest of glares, infuriating her further when he chose to hug her as well.

"If you leave me alone here I promise I will hunt you down and kill you slowly," her whispered words were as desperate as they were angry.

He actually laughed, pulling away, "You'll be fine here and I won't be too long." he was ignoring her distress, "A day at the most. "

No,no,no.......this was not good. She'd fallen right into his trap. "What in the hell are you doing,where are you going?" once again he'd taken her completely off guard, she didn't mind being here even if Yuri's mother seemed overly enthusiastic in welcoming her. They were good people, but something was up and she didn't like the prospect of being alone with people she did not know personally with no control over the situation. It would be different if she'd had time to prepare.

She could only watch him leave, getting back into the car and being driven away. Try as she could to steady herself, to regain control and retain her usual distance Hiroko Katsuki was as much an inescapable force of nature as Phichit always proved to be. There would be no choice but to go with whatever happened.

"Don't look so sad," the older woman was telling her, "He will be back before you know it, there isn't a single person or thing here that will harm you."

Did she look sad? She didn't mean to,she was just startled and confused. She didn't like being in situations unprepared, call it part of her training. What had Phichit told this woman to make her feel she had to reassure her? Before she realized it Kira was being led by the hand deeper into the Katsuki home.

"Come," Mrs Katsuki,was it alright to call her that?, gestured to a low table with pillows around it -"We will have tea and talk. I've heard much about you and I am glad to finally meet you."

The table was traditional Japaneses style, they sat on the floor on those pillows. "You have?"

She left briefly,returning with a teapot and setting it on the table. Kira wasn't much of a tea drinker, or coffee, but she couldn't refuse when offered by this woman.

"I am told you were one of the ones who rescued my son and so I am eternally grateful to you." she bowed slightly before returning to her duty of pouring their tea into cups that had already been placed on the table.

"He's back and he's safe that's what matters." Kira told her, it had been a successful mission and seeing Yuri's mother so happy was relieving.

"My son is very important to me, I wish that he would always be happy and safe, but life is not like that." she sat on a pillow not far from where Kira chose to sit, a wistful look in her eyes now. " All my family is important to me, even those adopted in, Yuri's friends and even Victor. I worry about that boy, that is why I'm happy Phichit has told me he will talk to Victor. He and my son are not good parted from each other."

So,that's what he was up to. It made sense,but why keep it a secret from her? "If Phichit talks to Victor I'm sure everything will turn out fine. "Kira assured her. " He has a gift."

That brought the smile back to the older woman's face, "He is devoted to my son, as he is devoted to all his friends and family. Yuri was concerned for him but he seems to be doing well." her kind eyes met Kira's "This is also because of you, is it not?"

Kira felt her face becoming bright red, this was not going to be easy and Phichit had definitely set her up for this. It was nearly impossible not to be honest with Mrs. Katsuki, the woman positively glowed with kindness and love. She suddenly felt as if she were a stray animal they'd taken in. She'd have to consider a fitting revenge for this. Phichit must have guessed she'd planned on leaving him here and heading off on her own again. Leo had to be at least partly to blame.

"When I saw him he was nearly dead, I had to do something, he didn't deserve what they did to him." it was true, a part of her felt she had to help Phichit. He needed her at that time and she wasn't used to being needed in that way. She had to admit to herself that she liked taking care of someone as well.

"You don't need to explain," Hiroko Katsuki sipped at her tea, "Such matters are complicated, you only have to see what is happening between my son and the man he loves. My two sons....."

"They'll figure things out,"Kira felt certain of that now.

Phichit had been Yuri's friend for years,since their college days and if anyone could get those two to stop being stubborn and talk it would be him. It must be difficult for Yuri's mother, caring for her son,wanting him to be safe while living a life that was far from safe. Horrible things happened to people you cared deeply about, it was part of life and unlike her Yuri never chose such a life. Kira had seen enough death and suffering, had caused much of that death and when she was confronted with what could happen to someone she cared about it left a permanent cut in her own heart.

In her line of work caring for someone was dangerous. Still,Kira couldn't deny the lure of that danger, the excitement and anxiety of something new and unknown. Some things were worth the risk. Some things were worth fighting to keep.

\-------

Phichit Chulanont stood in front of a large ornate wooden door in a very exclusive and very expensive hotel somewhere in Japan. This suite,this entire floor actually, had been taken over by the Nikiforov's Russian Mafia organization. They meant to keep their important guest safe and not bothered by unnecessary people or things. The fact that he was here,that he had agreed to this meeting, was promising. Time had passed, tempers had cooled and now he could face what he had done,perhaps help to heal the damage. Victor loved Yuri, no one doubted that fact, he just needed to learn a better way to show it. The man was jealous and very protective of the things and people he cared most about. From the beginning,when he listened to Yuri gush over the handsome Russian man he'd met when Victor came to his home in Hatsetsu and Yuri had been required to meet him, even then Phichit knew the truth. Victor was trouble, but Yuri loved him deeply and it hurt Yuri to be so far away from his love.

He couldn't stand to see his friend suffer, not for a mistake that in Phichit's mind was not Yuri's fault. Everything had changed over these past weeks, he had a lot of time to plan what he would do now and so far it was going well. Standing there waiting until the guards at each side of the door would let him go in, he smiled at his thoughts. It had been cruel, leaving Kira alone like that to face Yuri's family, but there was no other way. Without the element of surprise it wouldn't be quite so effective. He wanted to show her it was okay to care for someone else, that she had nothing to fear now. He would give her all that she wished for and more if she would step forward,take the risk, and reach out to him one more time. This time she would not regret trusting him.

Sometimes broken things can be fixed, sometimes fixing things can make them stronger. He wanted to be proof of that.

"You can go inside now Mr Chulanont," one of the men told him,listening to the device in his ear. "Mr. Nikiforov is expecting you."

Some things are worth fighting for.

The door opened and he stepped inside confident now as he faced the tall, platinum haired Russian man in his impeccable designer suit sitting on his chair like a throne. It was indeed time to stop running.

"I was wondering when you might show up to tell me what an idiot I am being," his voice thick with that accent Yuri had confessed made him melt. "Come and we will talk Phichit Chulanont, friend of my Yuri."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time Phichit talks Kira into helping him with the final part of his plans, though she is suspicious that he might have hidden motives. of course he does!
> 
>  
> 
> I did decide to start a vampire au story that hopefully won't become one of many inspired by a Queen song that you might be interested in.,it's a victuuri thing,I've always liked horror stories....check out my other works


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